In a shocking turn of events, the usually polite and unassuming Canadian cops experienced a momentary lapse of "niceness" and did the unthinkable -- they crashed a rowdy Penticton party and unleashed an uncharacteristic (and wholesome) wave of arrests last Saturday night. Dubbed the "Vancouver Arrest-a-Palooza," the peace-loving Mounties went off-script, eschewing their reputation for being kinder and gentler than their southern neighbors. This wild and unruly shindig attracted the attention of an unusually large number of Canadian cops. The party must have been exceptional, because it's common knowledge that the vast majority of Canadian police would rather wrangle an angry moose than confront a group of party-goers. Witnesses to the "party crackdown" report that the cops arrived at the scene in full force, armed with a plethora of Canadian staples, such as maple syrup, Tim Horton's doughnuts, and hockey sticks. This unearthing spread panic and confusion among the party-goers, as some scrambled to salvage what was left of their poutine while others made a dash to hide their Labatt Blue beers. Once the Canadian Crusaders gathered everyone in a makeshift party intervention circle, the "arrests" began. In true Canadian fashion, however, these arrests consisted of firmly heated, yet well-mannered discussions that strongly advised against future naughty behavior. Unbeknownst to guests, one of the invitees called B.C. Liquor Control Board just as the party was getting out of hand. But instead of getting a minister’s assistant, they talked with a Parliament member who had come into the office to pick up his weekly supply of Molson beer. That's when the authorities were called in to protect the sanctity of peaceful Penticton parties. Later, after the partygoers promised to apologize for their mischief-making, the Canadian Cops escorted everyone home, ensuring that each received a warm hug and an elbow bump. Just like that, Arrest-a-Palooza came to a gracious end, leaving the city with the sweet, sweet satisfaction of knowing that Canadian order had been restored. (Editor's note: No Canadian Geese were hurt or otherwise bothered during the making of this satirical news article.)