Los Angeles, CA—In a suspenseful ending to a seemingly unsolvable crime spree, one ingenious L.A. law enforcer successfully nabbed a notorious man who dares refer to himself as a "mastermind." In the befuddling world of criminal activity, this man's cunning tactics baffled the brightest detectives at the LAPD precinct until one sly officer devised an impressive solution. A strategy worthy of history books and maybe even a TV series; this law-abiding genius deserves an Emmy and a kiss on the cheek from Meryl Streep. The elusive felon, known only as, "The Man" (appropriate given the gender-specific moniker), wrought havoc on the sun-drenched streets of Los Angeles, leaving nothing but a trail of broken hearts, empty La Croix cans, and a vague whiff of Creed Aventus. Rumors spread, conspiracy theories peaked, and suspicions loomed like the smog in the Angeles skyline. Officer Jerry McAuley, an exemplary cop who has spearheaded several campaigns against jaywalkers in his career and maintained an impressive collection of overdue library books, demonstrated his intellectual prowess and cracked the case wide open, much like the toppings sliding off a particularly cheesy slice of pizza. "I couldn't believe it," admitted a shocked McAuley, "when I finally apprehended 'The Man,' I'd never felt such a rush of adrenaline since that time my partner's wife asked me to join them for a game night. Euchre has never been more intense." The key to McAuley's genius lay in disguising a simple and innocent object, commonly referred to as a 'man trap,' as a simple round of cheese dip at the taco stand. In a tale akin to the Trojan horse of Greek legend, the devious criminal's hunger and admiration for lactose got the better of him. "My God, I felt like a Greek god myself," said McAuley, wiping the sweat from his brow with movie-star finesse. "Zeus would have gone wild over my execution." Though some argue that a man trap may have become obsolete in a world that now has social media, McAuley's brilliant execution has showcased how even old-school tools can still be effective in the right hands. Now, police officers across the nation have begun to train in the tedious process of identifying and assessing criminal appetites for cheese dip, ready to catch the next cunning criminal who dares cross their path. To the delight of audiences and officers alike, it seems there may be no stopping Jerry "Aha!" McAuley from single-handedly saving California from its ever-burgeoning crime rates, one deviously placed man trap at a time. "It's a 21st century revolution, sure to change the tide of the great Man-nabbing War of attrition plaguing our Golden State," McAuley wiped away a single tear. "Give or take a few comically timed thwacks, zaps, and pratfalls – and that's Hollywood gold, baby."