In an unexpected twist worthy of a low-budget thriller, a bus filled with joyous festival-goers in Siegen found itself at the heart of a real-life horror show instead of a delightful day of music and merriment. Just as the passengers were gearing up for some schadenfreude and revelry at the city festival, a 32-year-old woman on board decided she could use her own pointy piece of excitement—a knife! Reports confirm that around 40 unsuspecting festival fans were crammed like sardines on the bus, blissfully unaware that they’d soon be caught in the most ill-timed downpour of angst and confusion since the last time a German celebrity flaunted questionable fashion choices. At approximately 7:40 PM, amidst laughter and anticipation, the woman decided it was the perfect moment for a spontaneous stabbing, leaving five passengers with injuries that are being described as “extravagantly unfortunate.” Local authorities were quick to respond, peeling back layers of chaos like the wrappers on more than a few strudel pastries that likely went uneaten that evening. The woman, now the unwitting star of a new crime drama that has yet to secure a slot on Netflix, was apprehended post-episode, her motive still shrouded in mystery much like the inexplicable appeal of pineapple on pizza. In a shocking twist, police reported that another festival-goer sustained serious injuries, but the rest of the passengers were reportedly more concerned with their lost chances of documenting the event on social media. The festival continued without its most adventurous bus group, as attendees scrambled to secure the perfect Snapchat filter to mask the horror just witnessed. Critics of the incident are already labeling it an offensive affront to public transportation and fun. Local bus companies are taking this as a wake-up call to offer stab-proof seating and mandatory ‘how to avoid getting stabbed while having a jolly good time’ seminars for future rides to celebratory events. As for the festival, organizers have decided to make it 'Evening of Awareness’ next year, featuring booths that teach festival-goers how to dodge both potatoes and knives. In the meantime, rest assured that lively discussions about safe public transportation will dominate local headlines, assuming, of course, no one else thinks attempted murder is the new craze among festival fare. Cheers to safety and a lack of sharp objects—because nothing makes for a better celebration than not having to dodge a blade!