Headline: Bud Light Sales Sink: Dylan Mulvaney's Blunder Proves America Isn't Buzzed Enough In an unexpected turn of events, the sale of Bud Light beer has plummeted, following the highly-publicized Dylan Mulvaney scandal. It seems that Americans are sobering up to the reality that their beer consumption might actually have consequences, and they aren't taking it well. According to NiselsenIQ data provided to FOX Business, Bud Light sales are down 24.4% compared to last year, with experts speculating that Americans are demanding a stronger drink to weather the storm. Some believe the nation might be embracing shots and hard liquor as a more effective coping mechanism. Bud Light, long known as the all-American choice for fans of watered-down lagers, has long relied on an image of mild inebriation and good times. But with the Mulvaney controversy casting a darker shadow on the brand, consumers are turning to alternative methods to maintain their buzz. “It really makes you wonder: are Americans capable of handling their beer or have we been fooling ourselves all along?” pondered beer enthusiast Steve Robertson. “I mean, we can land a rover on Mars, but we can't hold our Bud Lights responsibly.” In a desperate attempt to regain sales and prove their commitment to American values, Bud Light has launched a new ad campaign urging consumers to “Drink moderately, thinkers of America!” But for many, the damage has already been done. “It's too late for me. I switched to gin and tonics weeks ago,” said Stacy Miller, a former Bud Light die-hard. “I need something stronger to stomach the news these days. If America can't handle its beer, I'm not sure I even want to be a part of it anymore.” It remains to be seen whether America will regain its confidence in its ability to consume beer without making headlines. For now, Bud Light is left scrambling to keep its head above water, while its consumers look for stiffer solutions to their problems.