In a stunning show of post-Brexit defiance and determination, the United Kingdom, accompanied by its close ally, the Republic of Ireland, has dramatically snagged the opportunity to host the 2028 European Championship. Having thereby dashed any remaining dreams of hosting the 2030 World Cup, the nations cheerfully shrugged off the most globally watched football event in favour of the continent-centric football competition. In somewhat akin to asking the manager for another, less important task with the promise of getting it done spectacularly well, the UK and Ireland pivoted their attention to Euro 2028. Uefa, unable to resist the charm offensive, promptly approved their audacious bid. Given the historical significance of hosting such prestigious events post-Brexit, it is expected that jingoistic t-shirts reading "Euro 2028: Who needs the World?" will flood UK and Ireland's markets soon. London's Wembley Stadium and Glasgow's Hampden Park, both possessing a wealth of experience from their participation in Euro 2020, will once again witness the frenzied spectacle of football in 2028. However, unconfirmed rumours suggest these stadiums are already undergoing preparatory therapy to cope with the immense pressure of once again hosting such important games. Meanwhile, Cardiff's Principality Stadium will reportedly secure the coveted opening match of the 2028 tournament, triggering a mild existential crisis in Wembley given its usual prominence. With the football world in mild astonishment and the UK and Ireland feeling somewhat like footballing Davids having downed the international Goliath of the World Cup, preparations are predicted to kick into high gear. Where the 2030 World Cup dreams will now drift, no one knows, but for now, the chant is: Bring on Euro 2028! In completely unrelated news, sales of geography textbooks have seen an unprecedented increase in both the UK and Ireland, perhaps indicating that some citizens are still trying to understand why the World Cup was such a big deal after all.