In a 180-degree shift that stunned members of the 1%, the middle-class woke up on Monday, and, contrary to the usual habits of misery, ambition, and a crushingly mundane life, decided to cast a love-struck glance at the one entity it has vigorously neglected since the dawn of industrial revolution – Mother Earth. Through thick smog layers, packed highways and crowded trains, middle earners across the globe are flocking outdoors, professing their newfound undying affection for our planetary parent, leaving the aristocracy dumbfounded. Indeed, on a planet that has long been a playground for wealthy industrialists, the bourgeoisie’s sudden affection for nature is as unexpected as the third season of any hit new-age series. Middle-class favourite pastimes like driving increasingly expensive cars on unnecessarily long commutes, heating unnecessarily large houses, and disposing of mountains of precious goods have taken a backseat. The charms of the outrageous flying machine falter in confrontation with the rugged dignity of shared, crumb-filled buses. The once adored climate-control buttons are now just scornful reminders of an excessive, over-indulgent past. Word of this torrid affair had spread across the globe like a bad case of celebrity nude leaks, prompting urgent meetings among the upper echelons of society. “If this continues, we may have to start respecting the environment as well - an utterly preposterous thought,” said one anonymous billionaire, while sheepishly unplugging his yacht. Meanwhile, some sceptics believe that the middle-class is simply trying to jump on yet another trend. Jacob Kicklighter, spokesperson for the powerfully ineffective organisation 'Extreme Consumption for a Brighter Tomorrow', said, “It’s just a cyclical obsession, like Quinoa bowls or avocado on toast. They’ll go back to their regular waste-full lives once this fling wears off.” Ironically, the newfound love of the middle class may be a significant factor in saving the planet, if they manage to stay sustainable in their actions. The industrialists and capitalists, left in the dust of this unexpected turn of events, might just fall into the line or risk the wrath of their newly eco-conscious clientele. Amy Blowhard, head of previously uninfluential 'Middle Income Green Initiative', commented, “I have been advocating for sustainable living among the middle class for years now. It was just a matter of time before they woke up from their drowsy, consumer-driven existence and realized what they were doing to the planet.” As Mother Earth remains ambivalent about this sudden, unannounced love from the middle class, we urge our readers to make their bets. Will this love affair last, or will it crumble in the face of another charming sale at their favourite fashion outlet? Only time will tell. But for now, let us sip our fairly traded, organically grown, hand harvested coffee and dream about a future where we don’t choke on our aspirations.