In a stunning display of political theater that even Shakespeare would have envied, President Smith signed a sweeping new pact today while the nation collectively held its breath in a simultaneous gasp of disbelief, amusement, and profound sadness. The event took place on the steps of the White House, where a cadre of eager politicians, journalists, and onlookers gathered, itching to catch a glimpse of the momentous occasion, albeit more as a circus sideshow than a solemn affair. The grandiose ceremony commenced with the President’s announcement that the pact served to bind the administration to honor all promises made to the American people from the dawn of democracy to present day. According to aides, the pact also included an optional addendum that allows for the cancellation of any promise at any time, without prior notice – as long as it was "for the greater good." As he stood at the podium, President Smith delivered a rousing speech, filled with vague platitudes and strikingly empty promises that seemed to echo in the ears of those watching from their living rooms. “We are in this together,” he declared, raising his pen like a sword. “Together we’ll create a brighter future, rebuild trust, and most importantly, not just wrinkle our brows but firmly ask those tough questions – like ‘What’s for lunch?’” However, as the cameras clicked and the confetti rained down like so many jokes at a funeral, a nervous hush fell upon the crowd. The biting irony of the scene was not lost on the observers: the same President who had spent weeks evading tough interviews and dodging pressing issues was now making promises while knowing very well that the nation had an impressive track record of forgetting their significance by the time lunch rolls around. Meanwhile, millions of Americans were reportedly gathered around their devices, preparing for the nation’s newest trending hashtag: #HeDidItAgain. They watched with bated breath—some out of hope, others out of sheer entertainment—as the President put pen to paper, signing away his integrity with flourish indescribable yet reminiscent of a discount magician puffing a smoke bomb after a lackluster performance. Immediately after the pact was signed, the President closed his address by inviting guests to join him for “sweet brunch treats” inside the White House, effectively sidestepping the pressing matters of healthcare, climate change, and inflation that had been simmering like an unattended pot on the stove. Inspirational ambient music played softly in the background, but anyone not already enrolled in the “delusion of hope” program could sense the boiling frustration of the average citizen, still waiting to see policy changes since last decade. As his photo op concluded and the confetti settled, laughter erupted among aides when they realized the pact did not merely tout a binding commitment but a new social media campaign promising to make America feel "great again, after brunch." Twitter, in anticipation of the ensuing chaos, crashed momentarily from the sheer volume of memes depicting the President amidst flying “Unkept Promises” balloon animals. Outside the gilded walls, the nation remained on edge—a tapestry of joy, fury, and a unique sense of resilience wrapped in disillusionment. Citizens resumed their daily lives, waiting for the inevitable next “honorary” promise to slip through the cracks of political rhetoric. With hearts broken but spirits indefatigable, they flipped the channel to the latest true crime documentary: a much more reliable depiction of deception—and somehow more comforting than their own reality. “Why would I trust him?” a middle-aged woman asked her husband while watching their children play in the yard, as the President’s proclamations faded into the background of their lives. Deep down, they all knew that while the President may be signing delightful pacts under the rose-colored glow of TV lights, the only thing they could truly count on was the entrancing allure of the next viral cat video.