In a move that has left pundits scratching their heads and comedians sharpening their pencils, the U.S. Border Patrol has launched an innovative initiative at the Washington D.C. border. Dubbed "Guess Who? D.C. Edition," the game involves agents challenging migrants to a lighthearted guessing game before they are processed. “It’s all about making the experience more interactive,” said one jubilant agent, dressed in tactical gear but wearing a party hat that read “I’m with Stupid.” “We wanted to show that immigration enforcement doesn’t have to be all business and no play. Why not keep it fun and light?” Participants sit in a circle adorned with stars and stripes, while agents pull out a colorful board featuring iconic American figures – everyone from George Washington to the beloved cartoon character, Big Bird. The twist? Each migrant gets to ask questions to figure out which figure the agents have in mind, earning them potential candy bars along the way, assuming they can guess it right before their paperwork is filled out. “Is your person still alive?” one nervous young migrant asked, brow furrowed as he squinted at the game board. The agent, whose expression could rival the Sphinx, simply replied, “Both yes and no in Washington—depends on their latest campaign finance disclosures.” The Border Patrol insists that the game serves a dual purpose: lightening the mood in what could be a tense situation and maybe even getting some media attention. “We want to show that we care about the people we interact with, even if our job is to detain and process them,” the agent added cheerfully. “Plus, half the fun is waiting to see how many migrants try to guess the agent's own number from the office pool for ‘Most Likely to Win a Dance-Off.’ Spoiler: It's always Officer Jenkins.” Critics of the initiative say that turning serious matters into games trivializes the struggles migrants face. “Why not stick to a bingo system or perhaps a wild card for unexpected surprises?” one policy analyst mused. “At least then they might win an actual lottery ticket out of this bureaucratic mess.” As the game progressed, laughter and playful banter echoed off the walls of the border facility—most notably when one agent had to clarify the difference between Abraham Lincoln and an actual Lincoln log. “Well, one was famous for freeing the slaves, and the other excused himself from playing chess with his own personality,” the agent quipped, prompting whispers of understanding and puzzled looks. In an unexpected turn, a group of refugees banded together to create an unofficial protest to the game dubbed “Guess Who? Not Us!” They brought their own board featuring a mix of pop culture icons, hoping to draw attention to their plight with the likes of Julia Roberts and the Kardashians. “We thought no one ever asked us about the people who matter in our lives,” one participant stated, trying to keep a straight face. Whether or not the initiative will have a lasting impact on immigration policy is still up for debate. For now, one thing is clear: U.S. Border Patrol is set on transforming their territory into the quirkiest facility in the nation, complete with balloons and maybe even a hopeful live band named The Bandwidth of America. As laughter and confusion filled the air, one migrant chimed in with a sly smile, “I’m just trying to figure out, are we playing to win or just trying to survive the red tape?”