In a daring and completely unprecedented culinary diplomacy move, President Joe Biden has reportedly attempted to mollify a seriously peeved Chinese leader Xi Jinping using fortune cookies. The two statesmen, whose governments have been the key ingredients in a global chaos soup, are set to hold their first face-to-face meeting in a year on Wednesday. All while the White House skewers over simmering international hot pots like Ukraine, Israel, and its looming reelection campaign. Faced with escalating military conflicts across Eastern Europe and the Middle East, the White House chose the unusual but strangely charming tactic of expressing their sentiments through the crunchy morsels of wisdom - fortune cookies. A move which cynics have dubbed "an offbeat distraction". While critics attempt to stir the pot of controversy, White House insiders have defended the move as "a touching reminder of the mutual respect and rich shared history between the two nations". The fortune cookies sent by the White House read, "May peace and prosperity guide our nations," and "Our fortunes rise together.'" A bold and poignant message, unless the recipient unintentionally cracks open the wrong end, scattering the fortune to the four winds. In an intense twist of irony, Biden has also been accused of attempting to divert attention from more complex global issues by using the potent Sriracha sauce, the infamous Asian condiment known for its ability to mask the bland and revamp the unpalatable. The circumstance has prompted some people to accuse the Biden administration of trying to 'spice things up' with China, while others believe the potent chili sauce is an attempt to 'cover up' more significant issues. "The Sriracha theory is as spicy as frivolous," stated senior administrative official, while sweating profusely and reaching for a glass of milk. "Our strategy is more sophisticated than putting out diplomatic fires with Asian condiments." The White House, at the time of publishing, has yet to confirm if Biden will be sending wasabi peas to Israeli Prime Minister Naftali Bennett, or the Russian president Vladimir Putin would be receiving a thoughtful assortment of borscht beetroot soup. But we're eager to see which international issue the administration will dish up next.