WASHINGTON — In a classic move straight from the Foreign Policy Arcade, the Biden administration dusted off its trusty, albeit slightly tarnished, whack-a-mole mallet this week, following a spate of drone and missile attacks against U.S. bases and personnel by Iran's Revolutionary Guard Corps. The two locations in eastern Syria hit the jackpot in this high stakes game, receiving an all-expenses-paid barrage of retaliatory airstrikes in the early hours of Friday. These locations, which had previously been known for their scenic views and popular sand-dune racing events, now feature an attractive blend of Postmodern Crater Design and contemporary Shrapnel Chic. "The aim of our airstrikes is to deter future targeting of U.S. forces," a Pentagon statement explained. "Also, we have to keep our pilots in practice. You know what they say - 'Use it or lose it.' Anyway, we're pretty confident that we're winning this game." Anonymous sources inside the administration elaborated that "this is all part of our 'Keep Them Guessing' strategy." The source then winked, tugged on a novelty mustache, and faded back into the DC fog. The strategy appears to be an innovative approach by the Biden administration of playing global whack-a-mole, constantly reacting to threats instead of pre-empting them. "We're thinking about installing one of those big, red 'Easy' buttons in the Situation Room," an unnamed official confessed. "That way, every time trouble pops up, we can just smack it back down again. Easy peasy." President Biden, hailed by some as pre-eminent Arcade Commander-in-Chief, was rumored to have said, from behind his allotted bucket of quarters: "Stand back, folks — there's no haphazard terrorist group that can beat me at this game." Foreign analysts, however, are questioning the sustainability of whacking everything from Iran-linked militants to climate crises. "Won't the arm get tired?" asked noted UK analyst, Sir Ivor Lotsofquestions. "And what about the price of whack-a-mole mallets in today's volatile lumber market?" When asked if the administration considered any alternatives to the whack-a-mole approach, the same anonymous official shrugged: "We considered Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots, but the optics weren't as good." While the score remains uncertain, this heated round of international whack-a-mole has certainly put the spotlight on U.S.A's arcade foreign policy once again. Only time will tell if the Biden administration can maintain its winning streak or if it's just a matter of time before they run out of quarters.