In a stunning twist at the Democratic National Convention, it turns out that not even Beyoncé can revive the excitement of political karaoke night. After weeks of speculation and rumors swirling about a surprise performance by Queen B herself, her representative has officially confirmed what many suspected: the only "Halo" we’ll be seeing is the one adorning the otherwise lackluster event. Attendees had been ready to surge onto the dance floor to the throwback beats of "Single Ladies" as Vice President Kamala Harris takes the stage to formally accept the party nomination. But alas, dreams of soaring vocals, bedazzled costumes, and viral moments have been dashed with a swift "Beyoncé was never scheduled to be there." Ouch. The fervor began to build when every media outlet, from TMZ to The Hill, began to chatter like over-caffeinated squirrels about a possible performance. Certain delegates even began planning elaborate dance routines in hopes of a reigning queen gracing the stage. Instead, they might be subjected to a riveting rendition of “My Country, ‘Tis of Thee” by the local high school choir. City officials are now in a state of panic, trying to figure out how to spice up a political event with the charm of a tax audit. Alternatives suggested include a dramatic reading of the latest Infrastructure Bill or an interpretive dance depicting the struggles of student debt—extremely avant-garde, of course. Meanwhile, rumors suggest that attendees might get an unexpected surprise guest: a karaoke machine featuring the greatest hits of past political conventions, including the iconic “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor—perfect for delegates reflecting on their campaign strategies. As the anticipation nosedives and attendees steel themselves for another night of political platitudes, sources say a backup plan is in the works. Organizers have proposed mixing traditional political speeches with spontaneous group karaoke to help lighten the mood. We can only hope that someone, somewhere, knows the lyrics to “Bohemian Rhapsody” in key enough to bring down the house. So, as the political karaoke night approaches without any sign of Queen B, everyone is left to ponder: can passionate speeches be just as electrifying? Stay tuned, because whether we get a rousing rendition of Bob Dylan or an off-key soliloquy, at least it will be memorable—just in a different way than we’d all hoped.