CINCINNATI -- In a bold medieval-inspired declaration that has left fans both amused and confused, Bengals coach Zac Taylor has vowed to protect his star quarterback Joe Burrow from would-be assailants on the field, likening his efforts to those of a knight guarding a castle. Equipped with an imaginary suit of armor and a shield crafted from the finest cardboard, Taylor has promised to rally his troops to defend Burrow against "ravenous hitters" who dare to approach his precious quarterback. “Picture this: a stronghold, a gallant knight standing resolute, and a quarterback in search of glory,” Taylor proclaimed during a press briefing while dramatically brandishing a foam sword. “We can't let our fair prince be felled by reckless knights who can't control their steeds. It’s my duty to shield him from these nefarious actions post-play. We need to protect the wizard behind the curtain!” In a questionable move that could either inspire or bewilder, Taylor has begun training his offensive line in the art of medieval jousting, emphasizing the importance of “body armor” made from the finest materials—like overpriced yoga mats. Players have been spotted donning helmets adorned with feathers, claiming it provides an aerodynamic advantage while running interference for Burrow. “We understand the essence of chivalry,” stressed tackle Joe Mixon, brandishing an improvised lance fashioned from a broomstick. “If anyone seeks to harm Burrow, they'll have to get through us first—if they can get past my ultimate cleanup skills after heavy practice!” Burrow himself seems largely unperturbed by the theatrics surrounding his protection plan. “Honestly, I just want to complete some passes,” he sighed while attempting to dodge foam projectiles hurled from the stands during practice. “If coach wants to knight the entire offensive line, that’s fine. Just make sure I have some time to locate my receivers, please!” Taylor’s new approach has raised eyebrows across the league, with some analysts suggesting the Bengals should invest in catapults and moats for added security. “Why stop at just protection?” mused an unnamed source. “If we're going medieval, let's commit! Maybe a jousting tournament at halftime? Now that’s entertainment!” As the Bengals gear up for their next matchup, it remains to be seen how the coach's chivalrous crusade will play out. Fans are hopeful that this plan will not only prevent unnecessary hits on Burrow but also inspire a renaissance of medieval football lore, complete with an entourage of knights to accompany the players onto the field. Until then, expect more foam swords, questionable training methods, and the sounds of galloping horses echoing through the Cincinnati skyline.