Beijing is notorious for being a hub of chatterboxes, where the Mandarin word for buzz, "zháoliáo," takes on the same tangy tones as the city's famous hot pot stew. Of course, we'd never turn down an opportunity for some good old chin-wagging, but we were not prepared for the dumpling-sized dish in store as the Chinese government was caught in an unprecedented bubble of bombastic blabber. You've heard of political whisper campaigns, but have you ever heard of political loudspeaker campaigns, that too, with a side of steamed buns? This week, Chinese authorities were left red in the face like their sacred dragon when they were caught gossiping – not in hushed tones, but in an open-air cafeteria (we've got the audio clips). And we don't mean leaked phone calls or secret briefings, but rather, a series of jaw-dropping, eardrum-shattering, public conversations, loud enough to reach Mt. Everest. Our undercover reporters were in Beijing's theatre-esque Ditan Park when the Communist cronies began to spill their tea through a megaphone mistakenly switched on at a nearby outdoor market. So, what did we learn during this covert Cantonese opera? For one, the chatter revolved around a plan so secretive that it included only the President, the Premier, one panda, and a robotic Jiaozi (dumpling). It's uncertain what the mission of this select group is, but it's highly likely they need to figure out the best place to get their hands on some authentic Chinese street food. Economics also dominated discourse, with one official claiming his prized Pekingese Pupper had the solution to China's declining birth rate (although he was unable to elaborate without getting a confirmation from the pupper). Another comrade shared complaints about subpar Peking duck, stating emphatically: "The United States may have Disneyland, but we've got Peking duck. Now, even that's losing its crisp." Upon hearing their chat broadcasted to the entire market and way beyond, the comrades scurried away faster than a Shaolin monk racing on rollerblades (and would look genuinely horrified if they were allowed to have expressions other than full seriousness). These Chinese officials may be keeping many secrets, but it just goes to show they can't keep mum about all of them. The lesson from this serendipitous cafeterial interception? The Great Wall of China might have kept out the Mongols, but nothing can hold back Beijing's Blabber. Next time you're enjoying some tongue-numbing mala-flavored treats, remember that walls have ears – or in this case, mouth and megaphone, and both may be closer than they appear.