Sandstorms blew harder than ever, camels became more irritable, and the normally peaceful city flew into a caffeinated frenzy as Beersheba's most brilliant, caffeine-addicted scholar, Professor Awi Sipowitz, made an earth-shattering declaration that left everyone wide-eyed and wired. During his weekly TEDxNegevDesert talk, entitled "Really, REALLY Awake, A Scientific Journey Through Caffeine's Wonderland", which coincidentally had the highest attendance of insomniacs and night owls, Sipowitz announced his conclusive research claiming that "Camels are the future of caffeine consumption." With a nasty double espresso in one hand and an egg-timer in the other, he startled his audience by saying: "My fellow caffeine lovers, we've been doing it all wrong! Forget the common beans, forget processed energy drinks. It's time we turn to our feisty four-legged desert friends. Yes, camels!" Sipowitz, known for his controversial coffee-infused theories, had decided to shake things up even more as he switched from his traditional cup 'o joe to fresh camel milk. "Consider this," Sipowitz appealed to the hundreds of raised eyebrows in the audience. "Camel milk naturally contains a significantly higher quantity of vitamin B1 than other milk products. Now, this vitamin is essential for energy metabolism, so it is my belief that its regular consumption will lead to similar, if not better, wakefulness levels than coffee drinking." One could hear the gasp louder than an espresso machine's pump from the stunned civilians as they processed the revelation, silently eyeing their defenceless pet camels whom they had, so far, mostly used for transportation, clothing, and embarrassing TikTok videos. "The greatest advantage," the caffeine-crazed prof continued, "is the elimination of coffee breath and teeth discoloration. With camel milk, you can say goodbye to awkward dates or unappealing yellowish smiles. Surrey, my pet camel hasn't turned me down for a kiss since making the switch," he chuckled. Andrew "Double Shot" Macchiato, a longtime barista at "Cafe Bedouin Brew" in central Beersheba, seemed skeptical. "Sure, our esteemed professor's observations might hold some water…I mean, coffee…I mean milk, whatever! But one would need another type of stomach to make such 'udderly' drastic changes." The Mayor's office declined to comment on whether they will start installing camel milking stations around the city but urged citizens to refrain from stealing or harassing the city's camel population. Meanwhile, local dental clinics have reported a drastic spike in appointment cancellations till further notice. Despite reservations and ripples of chaos, Professor Sipowitz remains unswayed and committed to his delicious decaffeinated disruption. His parting words for the night rang out amidst the sand swept air, “No sugar needed, folks. The dessert desert just got a whole lot sweeter.”