In a groundbreaking reveal that has both beauty enthusiasts and critics bursting at the seams, Elizabeth Arden has finally unveiled its latest flagship store in Chile – a veritable palace of preening that promises to banish wrinkles faster than you can say “anti-aging cream.” They’re calling it “Beauty and the Beholden,” and, if the name doesn’t hint at an extravagant fantasy, the decor surely will. Nestled in what was once the region’s greatest avocado farm, the store is now an epicenter of glamour, featuring a moat filled with liquid collagen where salmon swim blissfully unaware that their very essence is the latest in skin-tightening miracle pools. Patrons can engage in the unique “Wrinkle Wars” experience, where a contestant’s age is determined not by their birth certificate but by the amount of serum they can apply in under three minutes. Spoiler: The only people leaving with wrinkles are those who refuse to participate in this beauty diktat. Inside the store, an array of products glimmers enticingly, each promising results beyond anyone’s wildest imagination. One of the most talked-about products is the "Ageless Avocado Elixir"—a magical potion marketed to restore the youth of anyone brave enough to drop a month’s salary in one fell swoop. The secret ingredient? A revered Brazilian fruit known only as “Hope,” harvested from trees grown in the light of a crescent moon. Or so the sales associates claim. During the grand opening, hordes of Chilean beauty buffs lined up for a chance to meet the celebrity endorsement team including a caffeinated sloth (reportedly named Mr. Snuggle-Bott), and a 50-year-old Instagram filter which, ironically, looks ten times younger than most influencers. The store’s ambiance radiated a quasi-religious euphoria as customers enthusiastically hailed the transformative power of instant-plumping hydrating mists that promised to zero-out any emotional baggage left behind. Adding to the satirical air, the opening featured a dance-off with models whose faces had been expertly contorted into inexplicable shapes, evoking an array of expressions all too familiar on a Tuesday morning after one too many “five-dollar lattes.” As the crowd cheered, a publicist was seen frantically trying to get a selfie with the onward-trotting provocateur—a deflated balloon wrapped in trendy fabrics—as it caricatured the concept of inner beauty versus outer exploitation. Critics have been quick to dismiss Elizabeth Arden’s Chilean escapade as little more than a fantastical guise for capitalism, but love it or resent it, the beauty empire epitomizes the extreme lengths people will go for youth. “It’s not a store,” explained one astute observer. “It’s a time machine on steroids, offering overzealous versions of self-care that range from miraculous to downright preposterous.” As the day wound down, patrons were escorted to the ‘Wrinkless Zone’—an exclusive lounge where luxuriously oversized marshmallows served with velvety creams awaited them. The farewell slogan, “Leave Your Wrinkles at the Door,” echoed loudly as an enthusiastic crowd departed, faces glowing and hearts slightly less burdened, while secretly clutching a plethora of serums for a rainy day. So there it is, folks! If beauty is only skin deep, Elizabeth Arden’s Chile location is about to hurl beauty’s depth straight into the stratosphere. Just don’t forget to pack your moisturizer — the journey's only just begun!