In a stunning display of football mastery, Bayer Leverkusen’s Patrik Schick decided to throw Borussia Dortmund a mid-season wake-up call with a two-goal performance that signaled winter was not just about snow and cozy fires, but also about cold hard football truths. The game, fittingly set against the backdrop of frosty temperatures and heated rivalries, saw Leverkusen emerge victorious, leaving the home team reeling and their fans questioning their life choices, such as why they chose to support a team that so clearly needed a GPS to find the goal. Dortmund strutted into the match boasting an impressive home league record, as if they were peacocks in the jungle of the Bundesliga, completely unaware that the biggest predators were lying in wait. Just 24 seconds into the game—long enough for fans to finish their first sip of hot chocolate—Nathan Tella decided to spoil the party by sniping the first goal, showing off his footwork like he was auditioning for a dance reality show rather than playing football. Dortmund tried to rebound, but the Leverkusen players were not interested in letting them have a comeback. Patrik Schick, clearly bored with the usual posturing of his opponents, took it upon himself to add to the humiliation. The Czech striker netted two goals as if they were free samples at a supermarket, leaving the defenders looking more lost than tourists without a map. His second goal could only be described as a "how-to" guide on scoring, complete with a view of an understandably flustered goalkeeper who might have thought about retiring after that performance. As the final whistle blew, the Borussia Dortmund players limped off the pitch, their bruised egos possibly requiring a comfort donut or two on the way back to the locker room. Meanwhile, Bayer Leverkusen strutted around as if they had just proven the existence of a new strain of football genius, bringing the fight to Bayern Munich in the title race and doubling as educators on the importance of keeping one’s guard up—even during the winter months. The fans in yellow and black, though previously confident they were set for a year filled with trophies and Marcel Schmelzer bobbleheads, now found themselves staring into the abyss of existential questions: Was it the players? Was it the coaching staff? Was it that one guy in the stands wearing the fortunate jersey from the 2004 season? As the players geared up for their next encounter, one thing was certain: winter is no time to hibernate, especially when Schick and his Leverkusen cohort are in town. For Dortmund, this match served as a chilling reminder that pride comes before a fall—a lesson best learned sooner rather than later. Perhaps it's time to awaken from that winter slumber—before it's too late.