Amidst the charred remnants of last summer’s wildfires, the Northeast is once again pondering the idea of a grand reunion. Local officials are meeting this week to discuss the feasibility of hosting “Back to the Ashes,” a raucous gathering that promises to celebrate community resilience by flinging smoldering logs at one another and roasting marshmallows over the still-warm embers of a catastrophic season. The event aims to commemorate the region's unparalleled ability to shrug off disaster, much like an overconfident Teflon pan. "We've burnt through our fair share of forests, but isn't that just nature's way of reminding us to throw a party?" mused local councilwoman Brenda Diddley, while sporting a shirt emblazoned with the slogan “Fire? What Fire?” Participants can look forward to an array of pyrotechnic activities, including the classic ‘Flame-Throwing Frisbee’ and an exhilarating game of ‘Dodge the Smoldering Branch.’ “We want to embody the true spirit of the Northeast—where the only thing hotter than the flames is our community spirit!” touted Paul Fumble, the overly enthusiastic event coordinator, as he fanned the ashes of last year’s charred hopes and dreams. Critics of the gathering, however, argue that it is perhaps a tad reckless to celebrate the very events that left residents dodging falling trees and inhaling acrid smoke. “Why would we want to roam through fields of ash, reliving our trauma with a side of s’mores?” pondered local historian Bernie Soot, who has taken it upon himself to document the region's fire history with a lovely coffee table book entitled “The Scorched Earth Chronicles.” Moreover, environmentalists have raised concerns over the lack of long-term planning. “Isn’t a reunion centered around flames just asking for trouble?” questioned Greta Green, a spokesperson from the ‘Northeast Is Not a Campfire’ Initiative. “We literally just spent the better part of a summer holding our breath—why on earth would we want to dance back into those flames?” Yet the allure of nostalgia mixed with marshmallow disasters seems to have an irresistible grip on the local populace. Residents have reportedly been carving significant donations from their dwindling budgets into ‘Firefighter Appreciation Kettles’ scattered about town, cleverly suggesting that perhaps they might want a little less gratitude and a lot more fire extinguishers. In anticipation of the grand event, local businesses are gearing up for a surge in sales. Prominent firewood suppliers expect their profits to go up in flames—metaphorically speaking—while local t-shirt shops are racing to produce shirts that say “I Survived Ashes 2023 - Best Reunion Ever!” as fast as they can, the designs featuring flames that are ironically not made of anything flammable. As the countdown to “Back to the Ashes” continues, residents remain optimistic, basking in the glow of impending chaos. It’s a celebration, after all—who wouldn’t want to laugh in the face of calamity while partaking in an exploratory walk through the smoking remnants of their homes? So grab your flammable attire, put on your bravest face, and prepare for what can only be described as the most charred family reunion of the decade.