In a dramatic turn of events, Australian cricket fans are left questioning whether a star-studded bowling line-up is truly necessary after the revelation that Josh Hazlewood, renowned for being one of the finer bowlers in the world, will be sidelined with a low-grade side injury. In a show of support for underdogs everywhere, Cricket Australia decided to call in Sean Abbott and Brendan Doggett — names that might as well be synonymous with 'Who’s that?' for all the recognition they’ve garnered. Following a humiliating 295-run defeat to India in the first test where Hazlewood managed to capture five wickets, fans were undoubtedly in need of a distraction more thrilling than watching paint dry. Hazlewood’s absence can only be seen as the cricketing gods laughing hysterically; clearly, they have a flair for the dramatic. Coach Justin Langer, in what can only be described as an optimistic pep talk, stated, “Injuries happen, and this is the perfect opportunity for Abbott and Doggett to shine. If they ever wanted to be household names — think of them as the next big reality stars and less of the next big cricket stars.” It’s a bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see if it pays off. With Abbott and Doggett joining the squad, the conversation around Australia’s star power has become laughable. Do they need big names to win? With their record at stake, perhaps the secret to success is simply throwing a couple of out-of-the-limelight bowlers into the mix and hoping for the best, much like throwing spaghetti at a wall to see what sticks. The mood has turned lighter off the pitch, with die-hard fans already setting up merchandise sales for Abbott and Doggett t-shirts adorned with catchy slogans like “We put the 'no' in ‘unknown’” and “Lost? Just follow the newcomer!” to capitalize on their moment in the spotlight. As the team prepares for the day-night test at Adelaide Oval, cricket pundits are watching closely. Some speculate that, if any team can defy conventional wisdom, it’s Australia. Who needs a strong side, impressive stats, or even a well-known player? After all, cricket is just a game where you throw a hard ball at a bunch of blokes with ridiculous helmets — how hard can it be? Meanwhile, reports have surfaced about the bowling duo enlisting the help of an ancient bowling manual titled “How to Bowl Like You’ve Actually Bowled Before.” The text, rumored to be from the 1970s, contains tips so unorthodox that it could be regarded as a cricketing version of a reality TV survival show. As anticipation builds — or fizzles, depending on your outlook — the question remains: can Abbott and Doggett turn the tide for Australia, revive its glory, or at the very least, give fans a solid reason to skip the dishes and tune in? Only time will tell, but in true Australian spirit, they might just be out there for the joy of playing...and hoping no one asks what their names are.