In a historic turn of events, Aston Villa has cast aside years of vexation and broken the fabled Cardiff Curse—an alleged hex that reportedly involved an unholy pact between the Welsh team and the ancient spirits of underwhelming cup performances. In a match that saw no dragons but plenty of excitement, Villa's newest recruit, Marco Asensio, donned his superhero cape—complete with a sparkly emblem that reads, “I came here for the tea!” Fans packed the stands, armed with flags and an uncanny ability to pretend they knew what offsides meant, while the Cardiff defense showcased world-class artistry in how to bend but not break—until, of course, Asensio decided it was time to light up the scoreboard. Following 68 minutes of what can only be described as a tactical game of "Where's Waldo?" featuring Cardiff's attempts to find the ball and Villa's apparent enjoyment of chasing it, Asensio finally made his mark, breaking the deadlock with the precision of a guy who’s just spotted his favorite nacho cheese dip on the bar menu. Marcus Rashford, exhibiting the game intelligence of a seasoned chess player, brilliantly set up Asensio with a perfectly placed cutback. He managed to bypass the entire Cardiff defense, who were likely busy checking their phones for live updates on the latest series of “The Great British Bake Off.” When Asensio sent the ball whistling into the back of the net, even the ghosts of past cup losses collectively gasped—with approval or dismay, we can only speculate. With a new lease of life post-goal, Asensio decided that one strike wasn’t enough. He returned to the scene of his crime like a hungry cat returning for a second round of dinner, netting his second goal shortly after and effectively ensuring that the Cardiff Curse will now reside in a realm alongside Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, and the perfect selfie. Post-match, villa manager, now dubbed the “Curse Slayer,” remarked, "We didn’t just play against Cardiff; we battled decades of bad luck. Honestly, at one point, I was convinced our last FA Cup win was buried in the same crypt as Atlantis.” The players celebrated as if they had just discovered the proverbial fountain of youth, while Cardiff fans were left to lift their spirits with an impromptu chant of “There's always next year!” mixed with “But we can’t promise a cup run.” As the night descended over Birmingham, one thing was clear: Aston Villa had not only won a match but had emerged victorious in the age-old battle against mythical curses, proving that in football, anything is possible—even if it involves twice the effort to break free from a rival's historically cringe-worthy grip.