In a shocking twist that could only be overshadowed by a sitcom's laugh track, the director of Rebuild NC has decided to "move on" from their position, following an intriguing cocktail of controversy, scandal, and a reportedly very nice severance package. As local residents ponder the effects of natural disasters compounded by bureaucratic fumbles, the director's departure has been likened to a game of musical chairs—except this time, everyone got up for the bathroom break and forgot to come back. Sources close to the situation revealed that the leadership’s motto, “Make it Rain (Paperwork),” took on new meaning as the director found themselves surrounded by a paper tsunami, courtesy of growing complaints from both constituents and volunteers. Whispered rumors suggest that this tragic “rain” was less about disaster relief and more about the director's ability to masterfully shuffle forms while disaster victims waited in line for something resembling help. The public's appetite for accountability reached a fever pitch, characterized by an online petition that urged the state to reconsider its hiring practices for positions dedicated to relief—specifically, “Please, anyone but another person from a bureaucratic hellscape.” Ironically, that petition garnered more signatures than the total number of flood relief cases resolved in the director's tenure. In the wake of the announcement, local residents took to social media to express their feelings, that is, after they finished expressing their feelings about everything else under the sun. One resident, clearly channeling their inner Shakespeare, wrote, “To leave or not to leave, that is the question. But seriously, what’s righteous when you can cash out?” The resignation has given rise to a new wave of local jokes and memes, each poking fun at the state’s propensity for disaster both natural and organizational. Top trending hashtags included #GoodRiddance, #WhereIsOurMoneyGoing?, and the ever-popular #NextOneBitesTheDust, which had people quoting Queen in full while expertly discussing the mismanagement of funds like seasoned political commentators. Speaking of funds, eyewitnesses reported the revolving door of directors at Rebuild NC has become a tourist attraction in itself; local entrepreneurs are reportedly setting up gift shops nearby selling “I Survived the Rebuild NC Roller Coaster” T-shirts, complete with a mock redesign of the state's logo featuring a sad face and tiny, tacked-on lifebuoys. Experts argue that the revolving door of leadership has become a practical solution for both the agency and disgruntled residents looking for someone to blame. After all, when in doubt, simply hire another director who can add to an already extensive résumé of experience in positions with titles that sound fancy but don’t actually help anyone. It appears Rebuild NC may be exploring a new hiring strategy that emphasizes charisma over competence—because who wouldn’t want a director who can dazzle during a PowerPoint presentation while twirling a baton, even if it’s just to distract everyone from the missing disaster funds? In conclusion, while the skies may have cleared over parts of North Carolina, the storm of uncertainty surrounding the future of Rebuild NC remains ever-present. As we all prepare for the inevitable new director’s debut, one can't help but wonder if they’ll bring a life raft or simply more paperwork than even a natural disaster can handle. In the meantime, cheers to yet another one biting the dust; let’s just hope the next one doesn’t take the state budget with them.