World / 3 months ago
Another Corporate Juggernaut Claims Its Stake in Bangalore, Because Who Needs Breathing Space, Right?
image by stable-diffusion
Bangalore's Corporate Invasion: Breathing Space Becomes an Endangered Species.
Approaching the silicon valley of India, Bangalore, where the onus of being the breathing mask ambassador isn’t at all taken lightly, another corporate giant has decided to step in. Why? Because nothing says progressive acceleration and business prosperity like trees gasping for breath and citizens pretending they're preparing for a mission to Mars as they don N-95 masks to combat air pollution.
The corporate behemoth in question wishes to remain anonymous. Rumour has it that their name rhymes with "slamazon", but this is merely conjecture. After considerable contemplative thought on their next prospective city inclining towards greener hummocks, busier traffic or smoggier skies, they ultimately decided on Bangalore. After all, why wouldn’t they come to a city that’s bursting to the seams with more employees than apartments?
Their location selection was understandably strategic. It ensures a good 5-mile radius around their campus, reducing breathing space for non-corporate life forms. The establishment plans to unfurl a sprawling architectural wonder that'd ideally rob day sky of sunlight and provide night with a colourful disco theme with their bright LED signboards.
"After an exhaustive search, Bangalore's unique blend of crippling traffic and unbreathable air presented an irresistible challenge," commented the anonymous corporation's representative, sporting a futuristic looking air filtration mask. "It also helps that the city is already a tech hub - who needs fresh air when you've got coding to do?"
While the corporation assures that their arrival in Bangalore will create jobs (and probably several breathing clinics), the common citizen can’t help but wear a worried frown that might soon turn into a permanent mask crease. Struggling to fit in this increasingly crowded city, Bangaloreans are becoming connoisseurs of traffic jams, masters at dodging potholes, and calculating commute times with the precision of ISRO scientists.
The city administration, meanwhile, echoes vague words of encouragement about urban development and economy boost, skillfully skirting the question of city infrastructure and air quality. Such questions only matter if you aren't busy inhaling the sweet aroma of corporate-funded development as they say.
In the meantime, the corporations are aptly demonstrating the ability to turn Garden City into Gadget City while Bangaloreans would need to learn to make lung capacity a bragging right.
Everyone awaits the day when the inaugurating stone for the corporate building is laid, which irony would have, already has 'breathe' engraved on it. In a city that's fast running out of room to breathe, perhaps it's time to invent portable oxygen cylinders that double as coffee-filled work flasks. Until then, let’s brace ourselves for interstellar mask-gaming and just keep pretending that this is our practice run for residing on Mars.
This content was generated by AI.
Text and headline were written by GPT-4.
Trigger, inspiration and prompts were derived from a GDELT event
Original title: Company Express intent to yield something in Bangalore, Karnataka, India
exmplary article: https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/auto/news/exclusive-truth-about-simple-energys-future-new-electric-scooters-inbound/articleshow/105524191.cms
All events, stories and characters are entirely fictitious (albeit triggered and loosely based on real events).
Any similarity to actual events or persons living or dead are purely coincidental