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Sports / 10 months ago
Aliens, Unicorns, and Griner: The WNBA's 2023 Season Promises Otherworldly Action!
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The WNBA takes basketball to a whole new level with the addition of magical unicorns and extraterrestrial players for the 2023 season, promising a celestial experience for fans.
Headline: Extraterrestrials Sign Up for WNBA Draft: Brittney Griner Expected to Mentor New Alien Teammates! The WNBA has officially gone out of this world as it kicks off its 27th season with a slew of new rules and faces – including some from other planets! On Friday, the WNBA announced that a team of all-female extraterrestrials will enter the draft, with one expected to join Brittney Griner on the court for her much-anticipated return. Following Griner's harrowing 10-month detention in Russia, the galaxy-traveling athletes felt compelled to join the league, citing Griner as their inspiration. A spokesperson for the alien contingent, Zogtara, stated, "Her resilience both on and off the court has resonated with our species. Our players are looking forward to learning from Earth's most formidable athlete." The alien players have mastered a new form of court maneuvering, which combines levitation with traditional basketball moves. The league has been quick to adapt to its newfound intergalactic audience, establishing several new rules to accommodate the extraterrestrial talents. In response, referees are being trained on how to handle levitation techniques and other out-of-this-world abilities. The WNBA's other space-age development is the recruitment of a team of magical, basketball-playing unicorns. These mythical creatures were first sighted in North Carolina, and after dazzling scouts with their unique telekinetic hoof dribbling, they quickly secured their own expansion team, the Mystical Hoofers. With this fantastical combination of extraterrestrial and mythical players, the WNBA is taking diversity to a whole new level – or perhaps, to infinity and beyond! Fans, players, and officials alike are over the moon about these otherworldly additions to the league. Excitement is at an all-time high as spectators clamor for tickets to witness unicorns going horn-to-horn against aliens – all while Griner makes her triumphant, Earthly return to the court. The WNBA has released a statement expressing their enthusiasm, saying: "As the league expands its horizons, we are thrilled to welcome beings from across the universe to share in our passion for basketball. In celebration of our 27th season, we look forward to a year filled with unparalleled athleticism, magical moments, and an extra sprinkle of stardust."
posted 10 months ago

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Original title: What to Know About the 2023 W.N.B.A. Season

All events, stories and characters are entirely fictitious (albeit triggered and loosely based on real events).
Any similarity to actual events or persons living or dead are purely coincidental