In a groundbreaking move to address the impending AI Job Apocalypse, a startup named "Human Skills on Demand" has begun renting out human competencies to companies scared stiff by the looming automation threat. With claims that 90% of coding jobs are on the chopping block, many firms are turning to this innovative solution to ensure they remain afloat in the AI sea. “Why hire a full-time employee when you can just rent a human for the day?” said CEO Elon R. Geist, who also moonlights as the former Chief Creative Officer of an AI-powered toaster brand. “Our service allows businesses to access an array of human skills, from critical thinking to basic emotional responses, right at their fingertips.” The startup offers an array of packages: the “Basic Human” for entry-level thinking, the “Adaptable Worker," which includes a limited daily supply of empathy, and the top-tier “Creative Genius,” complete with out-of-the-box ideas and the ability to drink copious amounts of coffee. Rentals can be booked on a sliding scale—hourly, daily, or even monthly, based on the whims of the employer. In a bold marketing campaign, “Human Skills on Demand” has put out ads featuring humans exhibiting various emotional responses, like laughing at bad jokes and nodding in agreement during meetings—all skills that AI struggles to emulate. “We aim to showcase the irreplaceable charm of human quirks,” added Geist, as he watched bots struggle to tell a dad joke correctly. Current economic forecasts suggest that as companies increasingly depend on AI, human rentals will become the go-to strategy to "keep things lively." “We used to worry about job losses, but now we’re just excited about how many 'human hours' we can rent out this month,” said a gleeful HR director at a tech firm, who preferred to remain anonymous due to concerns about how many hours they've "borrowed." Not everyone is thrilled with this trend. Workers are growing weary of the gig economy model stretching into their general existence. “I just want to be a full-time human,” lamented an anonymous coder who is also pursuing a side hustle in rent-a-human services. “But now my worth is measured by hourly rentals. Can’t I just be appreciated for my coding talents without being part of a human rental scheme?” As workplace dynamics rapidly shift, even human feelings are being auctioned off to the highest bidder. “Emotional Expressiveness” is a new, lucrative subscription service where companies can pay monthly to get mood swings delivered to their inboxes. “Everyone knows happy employees are more productive, even if they’re technically rented,” claims Geist. Ironically, many are responding to the uncertain employment landscape by beefing up their personal skills and creating compelling resumes highlighting their transferable abilities—like “expert human interaction rental recipient.” With this novel approach, they hope to secure future employment as props in AI-driven workspaces. As AI continues its relentless march forward, only time will tell if people can truly rent back their human skills or if we’ll all be seeing “Help Wanted” signs posted outside of AI call centers, offering positions for life coaches and emotional support managers, both of which will likely be listed as "temporary positions, until further notice." The employment landscape might be shifting, but it looks like humanity may still have a quirky rental future ahead.