In a crushing blow to the world's overachievers, a recent study by the Boston Consulting Group (BCG) discovered an outrageous truth: underachievers stand to gain the most from Artificial Intelligence, or AI. On the other hand, star performers, who've long been basking in glory, warmed by their high-ranking statuses, were served a steaming pie of humility, with noticeable fewer benefits from AI. This unprecedented study involved 758 BCG consultants, or around 7% of the company's global workforce. It led to a significant reshuffling of the cognitive food chain. Witnesses report that formerly low-ranking consultants have seen their underachieving status tropically metamorphose overnight, ironically becoming exactly what their parents always wanted them to be. According to the reports, the results hit hard on the 93% who dodged the participation in the study, leading to a sudden spike in stress coffee consumption, a significant rise in office chair creaking, and a sharp increase in the number of consultants suddenly realizing they've been climbing the ladder against the wrong wall. In this volatile shuffle, numerous high performers were left staggering, blinking into the desolate landscape that was once their unchallenged dominion, their quintessential perch. Some resorting to clutch their already obsolete diplomas and trophies as if they were lifeboats in an unexpected shipwreck. Meanwhile, the AI showed no emotion towards the newfound economical ecosystem. Interviews with the AI system were planned, yet it kept responding with cold, machine-like indifference - a clear sign of not playing favorites. After all, in the unemotional, 1s and 0s world of AI, underachievers become the high-flyers while star performers are left to pick up the crumbs. A twist of events that is seemingly culminating into a new era of underdogs in the business world. Adding to the pressure, the study was published on a humble Thursday, a day generally associated as the fourth reminder of the working week. This has brought a crushing end to the 'middle of the week' celebration that was traditionally loved for being two days away from another exciting weekend. Undoubtedly, this report offers an all-new take on the phrase "slow and steady wins the race". The tortoise was right all along. And so, dear readers, the Great AI Purge of overachievers marches on, leaving a crimson trail of shattered egos and red ink in its unfeeling, binary waking. Underachievers, once the nighttime fodder of their naysayers, are now sitting back, savoring the sweet taste of AI-infused success. Eve, it would seem, has had the last laugh.