Title: "Adopt an Eyestrain in Just 5 Easy Steps: A Guide for Digital Champions" Tired of having healthy eyes, with a clear vision as sharp as a hawk's? Exhausted with being able to focus on a beautiful painting, a gorgeous sunset, or even your darling pet without feeling like your eyes are about to pop out of your skull? Well, my friend, the world of endless screenbound possibilities awaits you! To help you achieve complete digital domination, we've developed a comprehensive guide where we will assist you in your journey to adopt the much-coveted condition known as eyestrain! Let's dive right in. Step 1: Bend the Rules! So, they say 20-20-20 rule is an eye saver: every 20 minutes, look at something 20 feet away for 20 seconds. But since we're aiming for eyestrain and blurred vision, you just bend that rule, and embrace the 20-20-0 rule with open arms! For 20 hours, look intensely 20 centimeters away, and break for zero minutes. Step 2: Be Abominable to Ambient Lighting You know, ambient lighting is said to prevent eye strain and headaches. So, let’s make it our archnemesis, creating a veritable throne room for eyestrain with dim light where it can gleefully prance around. Step 3: Embrace the Glare Grapple Glare-resistant screens and glasses are not made for us. Hoard all your shiny screens and glass tables. Direct them towards your line of sight and enjoy the glorious glare. It's like having a mini sun just for your eyes! Step 4: Assume the Unnatural Posture! If you are sitting in a comfortable position, your eyes can relax. We don't want that, do we? So, twist and turn. Perch your device up high. Slouch down low. For a bonus, knock your leg on the table, too! Step 5: Bond with Blue Light! Blue light emission from screens is the new villain in health circles. And exactly what we want! Turn it up a notch and get ready to roast your eyes. If you're new to this, turning off the night mode can help make a steady transition into the world of eye strain enthusiasts. Just remember, these steps are designed to be your keys to digital serfdom. Within a week, you will be a proud member of the club battling blurred vision, headaches, and maybe even chronic dry-eye! Now, on a more conventional and less satirical note: don't follow these steps unless your aim is to be condemned to lifelong glasses or even irreversible damage. Your eyes need care. So, take regular breaks from screens, use suitable lighting, and seek medical advice if eye strain becomes a recurring issue. After all, you wouldn't want to miss the details of the real world out there!