The Santiago Bernabeu witnessed an earth-shattering silence as the star of their season, the backbone of their team, the lad who's been dubbed better than burnt paella by kitsch critics, Jude Bellingham, took to the ground clutching his shoulder in Sunday's lackluster match against Real Mysterio FC. There was a sense of perturbing desperation, a monumental panic sweeping through the stadium that can only be compared to the time Cristiano Ronaldo left them for Juventus and their stock of hair gel nearly ran out. But fear not, Madrid's loss was only restricted to a few drops of tears and not points. They still managed to muster a goalless draw, thanks in no small part to the disinterested cat that sauntered across the pitch midway, causing a momentary distraction to the equally indifferent game. We still stand two points behind the league leaders Girona, a team that most people thought was a Spanish red wine until they ascended to the top of the Liga table. Bellingham, an Englishman quicker than a London taxi and tougher than a Yorkshire Pudding, displayed his resilience and bravery by playing the full 90 minutes despite his noticeable discomfort. Post game, Madrid's management denied being addicted to Bellingham's skills while simultaneously crossing their fingers, their toes and the eyeballs of the club's mascot. The superstar, who has delighted fans with 10 goals in 11 LaLiga appearances this season, will undergo tests on his shoulder on Monday. This news has caused the club to hastily arrange for an emergency shipment of rabbit's foot, four-leaf clovers, and horseshoes. The club's die-hard fans are being asked to maintain 24-hour vigils with their lucky underwear, while the team's psychic octopus has been tasked with predicting the outcome of Bellingham's tests. In a press conference, the club's coach reluctantly confirmed, "Bellingham had a shoulder problem and he..." he then trailed off into silence, his face an uncanny resemblance to that of a child told that Santa Claus was actually just his beer-bellied uncle. We are far from the final whistle on this one, folks. Stay tuned for the latest updates on your favorite club and their 'totally not an addiction' player's health.