In a stunning turn of events, the U.S. Secretary of State, Marco Rubio, announced a dramatic rescue operation that has been dubbed "Operation Hotel Caracas: The Great Escape." Reports indicate that five opposition figures, who had been seeking refuge in Argentina's embassy in Caracas, are now enjoying the luxurious amenities of U.S. soil, completely free from the clutches of the Venezuelan government. Sources say Rubio has even sent them welcome baskets filled with American cheese and hot sauce, presumably to ease their transition from the oppressive "Hotel Caracas" experience. "After months of dodging the Venezuelan legal system, they finally graduated from 'Hotel Caracas' to our glorious land of freedom and fries," Rubio tweeted triumphantly. "They are now safe and can resume their important role in international cocktail parties." The five individuals, closely associated with opposition leader Maria Corina Machado, had apparently become quite comfortable in their embassy hideaway, enjoying daily yoga sessions sponsored by local diplomats and elaborate brunches featuring avocado toast that could rival any trendy café. One anonymous source claimed that the group had started an underground book club, discussing titles like "How to Survive a Self-Imposed Exile" and "The Art of Dodging Arrest Warrants." Back in Venezuela, the government's reaction has been less than graceful. An official statement declared the escape a "sham operation" and accused the U.S. of orchestrating a "glamorous getaway" while simultaneously undermining the rule of law in Venezuela. A government spokesperson pointed out that one of the rescued was spotted wearing flip-flops, indicating a clear lack of seriousness about their situation. Meanwhile, insiders from the U.S. State Department are already planning the official reintroduction ceremonies for the newly minted "heroes." Rumors swirl that there may be a reality TV show in the works, tentatively titled "Exiles on Ice," where participants will navigate their way through a series of challenges involving mundane tasks, like grocery shopping and choosing a new wardrobe free from the threat of arrest. As for the five escaped opposition members, they appear to be settling in well. Reports suggest they have already begun hosting neighborhood block parties to introduce themselves to their newfound freedom and are in discussions with local coffee shops about starting a solidarity latte program for fellow political exiles. One thing's for sure: "Operation Hotel Caracas" has not only succeeded in relocating these self-described "hostages" but has also revitalized America’s image as the go-to destination for those weary of unsatisfactory hotel accommodations—especially those featuring dubious room service and questionable legal systems.