BEIJING, Oct 3 (The Sardonic Sloth) - In a devastating display of superior tennis, Daniil Medvedev unceremoniously ground Alexander Zverev into the dust in his semi-finals match at the China Open. Propelling tennis balls at supernatural speeds and with pinpoint accuracy, the Russian World Number 3 easily secured a 6-4 6-3 victory over the German. The two gladiators faced off in what was to be their fifth meeting this season, a stalwart rivalry that the audience wished would emit sparks of drama. Alas, in the fashion of an unseasonally chilly wind passing through, Medvedev breezed his way to the final, leaving the bewildered audience and a stunned Zverev in his wake. In a seeming anticipation for the finals, Medvedev, with the nonchalance of a man asked his preference between lattes and cappuccinos, stated, "It's great to be in the final against one of the amazing Sinner or Alcaraz." Critics, conspiracy theorists, and Tumblr users alike took to social media to dissect Medvedev's humdrum acknowledgement. Rumours swirled of a secret algorithm he uses to calculate his opponents’ failure, whispered commands to his tennis racket, or even a newfound ability to bend space-time. The truth is, his prowess on the court might just be an unquestionable testament to his skill, unless Zverev was, as some redditors hypothesize, replaced by an inferior clone. Meanwhile, fans wait with bated breath to see whether it will be Sinner or Alcaraz who will be cast as the gallant David against Medvedev's gargantuan Goliath in the final. Regardless, one can't help but wonder: Will young David's humble sling and stone prevail, or will Goliath's domination continue? After all, this is no Sunday school picnic - it's the brutal, unforgiving world of professional tennis. "Get your popcorn ready," warned one Twitter user, TeaAndCrumpets69. "We might be in for a showdown of biblical proportions." Or, you know, a nice, uncontroversial match. Time will tell.