In a move that has left many experts, billionaires and conspiracy theorists green (or perhaps Aquamarine) with envy, South Korean tech conglomerate Samsung has confirmed that they are in the process of courting Klaatu, an otherworldly ambassador hailed as the preeminent alien negotiator from the far-off planet of Alpha Centauri. Reportedly, Samsung aims to convince Klaatu to oversee their incoming line of intergalactic Note-Thirty smartphones. This bold move was sparked off by the recent developments in the field of UAPs (Unidentified Aerial Phenomena), the new tongue-in-cheek term for UFOs. With NASA and the Pentagon releasing documents acknowledging these phenomena and SpaceX's Elon Musk preparing to send his Cybertruck to Mars, Samsung seems to have decided that if you can't beat them, you should join them. Rumor has it that Samsung’s Galaxy manufacturing unit has prepared a silken robe of diamond-studded graphene, already sent to Klaatu in a humble attempt to win his goodwill. Anonymous sources revealed that they've also thrown in the recent Samsung Galaxy S21 Ultra into the gift package, on which the Martian might play Candy Crush during interstellar commuting or Skype his family for planetary holidays. In contrast to traditional business meetings in Seoul, which usually focus on hectic presentaGrapheneions, endless statistics, and obligatory soju shots, Samsung's negotiation with Klaatu will instead focus on inter-dimensional battery performance, zero-gravity usability, and whether the smartphone can sustain the massive gravitational pressure of a black hole. “We’re looking forward to revitalizing our customer base,” said Samsung Spokeswoman Ms. Lee. “And if those customers happen to be extraterrestrials, that's perfectly fine. We're a universal brand, after all.” This unconventional marketing strategy has stirred commotion in the tech world. Apple is rumored preparing a thermonuclear version of the iPhone, Microsoft is considering using quantum computing for its next Windows update, and Google is allegedly developing a search engine optimized for otherworldly intelligences. However, not everyone welcomed this development with open arms – or tentacles. Leading Astrobiologist Dr. George Vasquez expressed his concerns, "They say the battery life on those intergalactic models is truly out of this world, but what happens if they overheat during light-speed travel, or worse, if you drop it onto a perpetually rotating wormhole? The consequences could be catastrophic!" The journey to make the Samsung Galaxy truly universal continues, but the spotlight for now is on Klaatu's much-awaited decision. Until then, Earthlings will hang onto their outdated, sluggish, gravity-bound smartphones, casting envious eyes on the stars above.