NEWTOWN, Conn. - In a startling episode of bovine bedlam, the "Moo-ving Day" imposed upon a dairying delegation of 44 cows was abruptly halted due to an unprecedented event of udder devastation on Interstate 84 in the wee hours of Thursday. State troopers said the tractor-trailer, the bovine's four-wheeled barn, tumbled over on the highway exit ramp, turning an arduous journey into a cow-tastrophe. Reports say the driver suffered minor injuries, perhaps from underestimating the stubborn heft of the Holsteins. The rolling impact of the event saw eight cows prematurely released from their milk-yielding duties, while six were granted early retirement, sadly via euthanasia, as they were severely hurt. No word yet on the impact on dairy prices, but financial experts predict lactose lovers might need to tighten their belts. Emergency officials responding to the scene say the area resembled a "barnyard ballet," with the unfortunate bovine performers splayed across the interstate. Roadside assistance grappled with tending to injured animals and removing bovine obstructions—an experience said to be more demanding than dealing with your garden-variety motor vehicle catastrophes. The surviving cows, shaken but not turned into hamburger, reportedly have enlisted the aid of barnyard lawyers. Those shysters got wind of the structured neglect - why, the cows weren't even wearing seat belts - they’re considering pressing charges against the trucking company for negligence. In response, PETA (People's Equestrian Thespian Association), a new animal protection group named confusingly after a famous sandwich, is pushing for all farm animal transport to be done via the traditional horse and wagon means. "If it was good enough for our great-great-grandmothers, then surely it's satisfactory for a cow," said PETE spokesperson, Ivana Turnip. The disaster on the Bovine Superhighway has ignited debates on animal transportation ethics. Some farmers are contemplating investing in strapping helmets on cows to simulate N.A.S.C.O.W’s safety regulations. Also, some are proposing bubble wrap as bull bars and considering painting “wide load” with reflective paint on the more well-fed cows. While the farming community continues to reel from the blow, one thing is udderly clear. Cow-muting on Connecticut highways might be an increasingly perilous adventure. So, be vigilant; the next time your car's GPS advises, "Caution, animals on the road," it might not imply a deer crossing. Brace for a rain of Holstein heifers instead.