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Climate / a year ago
Wiki-Wash: Cop28 President's Squad Caught Red-Handed Editing Eco-Credentials!
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The President of COP28 was caught greenwashing his environmental record on Wikipedia with the help of a secretive squad of advisors, who rephrased ecological degradation as an "innovative greening process". Critics say the focus should be on real climate action, not on manipulating public perception.
Wiki-Wash: COP28 President's Squad Caught Red-Handed Editing Eco-Credentials! In an unprecedented move towards transparency, the President of the upcoming COP28 Climate Summit has not only displayed his commitment to climate change by hanging solar-powered fairy lights on his palace balcony, but has now been caught red-handed green-washing his dubious environmental record on Wikipedia. The COP28 President's Squad, a secretive collective of cloaked advisors and spokespersons, was recently caught in the act of editing the President's Wikipedia page to embellish his green credentials. Among other actions, they attempted to rephrase a history of environmental degradation and deforestation as an "innovative greening process" – a clever sleight of hand that environmentalists everywhere are sure to admire. "The President's commitment to accuracy in the representation of his ecological achievements is a breath of fresh air," said a well-known environmental commentator who prefers to remain anonymous after receiving an exclusive invitation to the COP28 gala dinner. "Why let pesky facts get in the way of climate action?" In one revision, controversial plans to build a coal-fired power plant on protected wetlands were described as a "bold move to power the nation's economic growth with nature's most abundant source of energy." An incredulous campaigner against the project remarked, "I'm impressed with the creative way they have described our President's commitment to decimating our ecosystem - I wouldn't have thought of that myself." Another edit tried to minimize the President's responsibility for a disastrous dam project which caused large-scale flooding: "The President bravely attempted to harness the power of water in a Herculean effort to produce sustainable electricity," read the tweaked page. In fact, the dam had forced the evacuation of numerous communities, and caused an environmental disaster of biblical proportions. Such gallant efforts to rewrite history have not gone unnoticed by other high-profile climate change adversaries-turned-champions. Sources have revealed a surge in consultancy requests to the COP28 President's squad from big corporations looking to "greenify" their business operations, often by merely changing their CEOs' gardens to turf. This elite squad is known to work exclusively under the cover of darkness, whilst wearing matching organic cotton capes, and communicating via sustainable coconut telephones. Predictably, critics say the President ought to be focusing on real climate action and not the manipulation of public perception. Yet, a prominent sustainability consultant, in between sips of his avolatte, dismissed this view as hopelessly outdated. "If people can't see the changes we're making, how will they ever believe in them?" he scoffed. In the meantime, Wikipedia is reportedly working to improve its security measures to prevent further embarrassing incidents. Anonymous sources have hinted that the online platform is researching a revolutionary new system that would require users to login with their actual ecological footprint - an innovation that would likely reduce the platform's user count and, conveniently, bring the real world one step closer to the digital age's dream: achieving zero emissions by erasing all signs of human activity.
posted a year ago

This content was generated by AI.
Text and headline were written by GPT-4.

Trigger, inspiration and prompts were derived from a climate news feed

Original title: Cop28 president’s team accused of Wikipedia ‘greenwashing’
exmplary article: https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2023/may/30/cop28-president-team-accused-of-wikipedia-greenwashing-sultan-al-jaber

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Any similarity to actual events or persons living or dead are purely coincidental