In a shocking turn of events that has left music critics scratching their heads and Christmas traditionalists re-evaluating their lives, Wham!’s iconic holiday anthem "Last Christmas" has once again claimed the title of UK Christmas No 1, now officially designated as a national treasure, alongside turkey and Aunty Margaret’s questionable pudding. Andrew Ridgeley, the lesser-known half of the dynamic duo, celebrated the song’s enduring success with the kind of enthusiasm typically reserved for discovering a forgotten stash of Quality Street. "Thirty-seven years to get to No 1, 39 years to Christmas No 1, and then like London buses they all come along at once!" Ridgeley exclaimed, clearly still trying to grasp the concept of time and the oddities of chart politics. Sources report that “Last Christmas” has officially infiltrated the consciousness of the UK population, leading to widespread phenomena such as spontaneous karaoke among unsuspecting shoppers and a surge in demand for festive jumpers featuring the duo’s signature hairstyles. Music industry insiders have begun to suggest that the song may actually be more crucial to holiday spirit than the traditional religious observances, citing its uncanny ability to both evoke nostalgia and trigger existential dread in listeners. Despite its questionable lyrical content — “Last Christmas, I gave you my heart” — the song’s relentless repetition makes it a perfect fit for the actual “Naughty List” of holiday songs. Listeners have eagerly embraced the track, not just as a guilty pleasure, but as an expected auditory assault during the festive season, much like over-sweetened eggnog and your uncle’s unsolicited political opinions. Critics continue to debate whether the song's revival is a testament to its timeless appeal or the sign of a music industry fresh out of ideas, with many predicting a future where "Last Christmas" will be remixed by TikTok influencers, drone DJs, and possibly even an orchestra of trained bats. In the meantime, Ridgeley is keen to keep the momentum going, announcing plans for a new line of merchandise that includes “Last Christmas” themed pajamas, scented candles that smell like regret, and a self-help book entitled “How to Cope with the 37-Year Wait for Christmas No. 1 and Other Life Lessons.” As the song continues to reign supreme, one thing is clear: "Last Christmas" is here to stay, reminding us all that some things truly are eternal, just like the awkward family dynamics that emerge every holiday season. So grab your eggnog, turn the volume up, and prepare to embrace the chaotic joy that is Wham!’s holiday anthem — it’s going to be a long December.