In a stunning turn of events, Vice President Kamala Harris is set to grace the small screen on "60 Minutes" this Monday, as she woos America with her charming campaign pitch for the presidency. The stakes are high, especially after former President Donald Trump threw a last-minute tantrum and ghosted the show faster than a bad Tinder date. Sources close to Trump's team report that he ultimately decided he couldn’t participate because "60 Minutes" was just too "mainstream" for his taste. Instead, he will be hosting a virtual rally in a poorly lit room, sharing his economic policies based on heavily edited clips of his golf swings from the last five years. Consequently, correspondent Scott Pelley will trade his Trump interview for an exclusive look at the bustling hive of voters in Maricopa County, Arizona, also known as "The Land of Unanswered Questions." While Harris prepares to dazzle viewers, Pelley will dive deep into what many are calling the "Real People's Choice" and explore why so many Arizonans are still trying to figure out where the heck they put their mail-in ballots. Political analysts predict that Harris's appearance could spark a surge of enthusiasm, not only for her candidacy but also for the long-lost art of public appearances. Few could forget the last time voters got to hear from a sitting vice president on such a grand platform—probably during the close of the last century. To prepare for her moment in the spotlight, Harris has reportedly been taking lessons from Broadway coaches to ensure her delivery is enticing enough to keep viewers glued to their couches and snacks. “I just want them to feel like they’re joining me for coffee,” she said, “only with a slightly better chance of also voting for me.” Meanwhile, Trump's decision to bail has left many GOP supporters in disbelief. One Trump loyalist was seen outside a local diner clutching a "Make America Great Again" cap while muttering, “He just couldn’t handle the heat... or the lights... or any kind of scrutiny. I miss the tweets." As the election approaches, all eyes will be on Harris to see if she can captivate the audience and inspire voters to hit the polls. With Trump on the verge of invoking his own form of campaign strategy—known colloquially as the "Can We Just Not Talk About It" methodology—Harris’s charisma and well-articulated policies just might be the refreshing normalcy America desperately needs. Tune in this Monday at 7 PM, when the Vice President attempts to charm the pants off America—figuratively, of course—while reveling in her unchallenged limelight, all thanks to Trump deciding that “ghosting” was a valid form of political strategy.