In a move that shocked absolutely no one, TikTok decided to #ExitStageLeft just moments before an American ban was set to commence, leaving millions of users scrolling through a void of despair that could only be filled with cat videos and dance challenges from 2019. This swift shutdown occurred at precisely 11:59 PM on Saturday, sparking an emergency national game of “Where Did My TikTok Go?” among TikTok aficionados. Meanwhile, President-elect Donald Trump, who has previously declared himself the "dancing king" of political theater, is preparing for a grandiose return of TikTok upon assuming office. "Just like my hair in a windstorm, I refuse to let this opportunity blow away," he declared in a tweet that somehow contained both emojis and a dramatic flair usually reserved for Broadway musicals. Trump announced his intention to allow the app back into the U.S. by extending a deadline for ByteDance to sell the app, dubbing it the “Comeback Dance.” "When I take office, watch out—the TikToks are coming back like a boomerang on a well-deserved vacation," he stated, while doing an impromptu victory jig on the White House lawn. In the interim, TikTok users have taken to other platforms, attempting to recreate the experience by posting 15-second videos of their pets doing absolutely nothing. Other users are reportedly exploring hobbies such as knitting, birdwatching, and learning ancient Sumerian to fill the void, but none have reported the same thrill as using a filter that transforms their face into a potato. Experts are now predicting the rise of underground TikTok speakeasies, where users gather in dimly lit basements to share their most cherished dance moves and DIY craft ideas without the oppressive hand of legislation looming over them. Rumors abound of secret TikTok meetups where participants sign in with a password and must dance their way past the bouncer to gain entry. As for the future of TikTok? Only time will tell if it will come back more fabulous than ever, or merely fade into the digital sunset of failed apps. Until then, TikTok fans will have to make do with watching slightly outdated Vines and contemplating the meaning of life without viral dance challenges. Stay tuned for the much-anticipated “Remix Reality” where we force our parents to learn TikTok trends for the sake of family bonding. The timeline for that comeback dance is still TBD.