In a shocking twist for both pharmacology and sofa enthusiasts, former President Donald Trump revealed that he would be signing a groundbreaking executive order to align U.S. drug prices with the rock-bottom rates found in other countries—without anyone ever having to leave the comfort of their living rooms. This bold move is set to revolutionize the way Americans pop pills while binge-watching their favorite shows. On his social media platform, Truth Social, Trump ranted about the shenanigans of the pharmaceutical companies, lamenting how U.S. consumers have been financially bamboozled for decades. "Why should Americans pay five to ten times more for the same medications as our friends across the pond?" he exclaimed, pausing to take a selfie with a very concerned-looking bottle of ibuprofen. The executive order humorously dubbed the “Sofa Summit,” encourages Americans to sit back, relax, and order their medications online at prices that might even make a drug dealer blush. According to sources close to the former president, the executive order enables citizens to enjoy global drug prices by simply inputting their address online, where a delightful delivery person will magically appear with their prescription. “It's like Amazon Prime for pharmaceuticals!” Trump exclaimed, as he imagined throngs of couch potatoes becoming instant pharmacists. Industry experts are scratching their heads, wondering how this radical approach will work in the real world. “Are we really expecting people to show a pharmacy technician their prescriptions while still wearing their pajama pants?” asked one puzzled economist. “Or will they have to sign a waiver while clutching their nacho cheese dip?” Even more surprising, the executive order includes a special feature allowing customers to select their delivery method: for the impatient, a drone that drops your meds from the sky is available at a premium. Others can choose to have their prescriptions delivered by a rollerblading pharmacist, who will interpret the patient’s favorite meme throughout the process. Critics of Trump's plan argue it misses a critical detail: the actual pharmaceutical companies, who, in a very surprising twist, have vowed to continue raising their prices, with a smirk. "Look, we manufacture these drugs, we should be able to price them as though we invented air," said a generic spokesperson for Big Pharma, who insisted that they would continue to squeeze every dollar from the American public, couch dwellers or not. In response to the criticism, Trump declared, “If this doesn’t work, I’ll just use my next executive order to declare pizza a vegetable. That ought to spice things up!” As the nation prepares for this unprecedented shift in pharmaceutical pricing, many are wondering not only about the benefits but also the side effects—like increased couch potato syndrome and the overwhelming desire to have snacks delivered alongside medications. Only time will tell if Trump's executive order is a cure-all or just another placebo for the American public. Either way, it looks like everyone will soon be standing by for their prescriptions—quite literally—because who knows? The future might just include a reality TV series titled “American Couch Potatoes: Meds and Snacks Edition.”