President Donald Trump transformed the South Lawn of the White House into what could only be described as an upscale Tesla showroom Tuesday afternoon, sparking outrage among critics who deemed it the "most luxurious misuse of presidential space" since the inaugural ball featuring an all-you-can-eat buffet of fast food. Draped in red, white, and blue, the electric vehicle glimmered in the sun as Trump enthusiastically climbed into a cherry red Tesla Model S, eyeing the plush white leather seats like a kid in a candy store. "Woah, it’s beautiful!" he exclaimed, as a slightly bemused Elon Musk took the passenger seat, attempting to suppress a grin that appeared to scream, "I can't believe this is happening." In an unprecedented move, the president proudly declared, "Who needs boring policies when you've got premium leather and autopilot?!" This selective policymaking approach has led many observers to wonder if Trump's next directive will be to replace all cabinet meetings with drive-in movie nights featuring classic car flicks. Critics quickly condemned the spectacle. "We've officially reached peak absurdity in American politics," lamented one journalist, standing by with a notepad that was shockingly empty of any actual news. "Next, we'll see a McDonald's franchise in the Rose Garden." As Musk turned to offer some sales pitches about Tesla's new self-driving features, Trump, ever the businessman, interrupted with suggestions for features that even Elon hadn’t considered. "How about an option that sounds like me? A ‘Trump Mode’ that only plays my speeches while you drive?" he said, unironically. Outside the gates, protesters were spotted holding signs that read "Ethics, Not EVs!" and "We Want Policies, Not Teslas!" – a demonstration met with confusion by many onlookers who initially thought the gathering was just a very underwhelming car show. Meanwhile, conspiracy theories flourished online, with some claiming that the entire event was a secret push for the Tesla 2024 campaign. "I hear they're aligning the moon's rotation with Tesla stock prices," one internet sleuth suggested, presumably from the safety of their mom’s basement while sipping an energy drink. As the sun set behind the White House, the electric hum of the Tesla lingered in the air, leaving many to wonder if they would ever see a return to the days of traditional policymaking or if America was now destined for a future of flashy cars and reality-show politics. As the cameras rolled, Trump waved goodbye, stating, "Vote for me, and I’ll throw in a free charger!" Only time will tell how deeply this charade will impact the next election.