In a dazzling display of political strategy—or perhaps just a hunger for good PR—Donald Trump hosted a star-studded dinner at his Mar-a-Lago resort, featuring none other than Apple CEO Tim Cook. Attendees were reportedly treated to a sumptuous feast of shrimp cocktail, steak, and a side dish of desperate attempts to curry favor. The guest list read like a who’s who of the tech world: OpenAI's Sam Altman, Meta's Mark Zuckerberg, and Amazon's Jeff Bezos, all milling about with the kind of nervous energy usually reserved for middle school dances. Sources close to the event noted that each tech titan appeared keen to showcase their best table manners, probably fearing a poorly timed tweet might become their White House obituary. Rumor has it that the evening began with a round of golf, where Trump allegedly insisted on playing from the "golden tees" (which he brought himself). "Tim, you’re going to love my swing—it’s the best swing, everybody says so!" Trump reportedly exclaimed while slicing the ball into a nearby lagoon. Witnesses claim they saw Cook nod approvingly, perhaps contemplating the existential question of whether he had just signed an exclusive contract for the next iPhone powered by “bigly” energy. As the dinner progressed, the conversation turned to innovation. Trump's suggestions included a revolutionary new iPhone model that can tweet even faster. "I call it the iTweet—no one tweets like me, believe me!” he declared, while Altman debated whether artificial intelligence could help make Twitter more human, journeying further into metaphysical territory than anyone expected. Meanwhile, Zuckerberg quietly sipped his drink, his mind clearly elsewhere—possibly wondering if he could harvest the evening’s conversation for new algorithms to target political ads or if it was time for his biannual “Make Friends” seminar. Bezos, seated next to Trump, was overheard desperately pitching a new Prime feature: “Next-day delivery of presidential tweets directly to your phone.” Trump seemed intrigued, responding with, “I need that for my fans. They’ll love it—nobody delivers like Jeff, that’s for sure!” At one point in the night, as dessert of gold-flaked chocolate cake was served, Cook bravely broached the subject of regulation, only for Trump to respond, “Regulation is for losers—what we need is a fresh app that tells me I’m the best!” Cook nodded politely, though one couldn’t help but notice the tiniest hint of panic in his eyes. The evening wrapped up with all attendees practicing their best ‘team player’ smiles for the cameras. Each left with a charming memento: an oversized MAGA hat emblazoned with "Make Tech Great Again" and a heartfelt invitation to next year’s extravaganza, which, if all goes according to Trump’s plan, will feature the debut of the iHoax—an innovative new device guaranteed to turn any media story into “fake news” at the touch of a button. As the tech elite departed, one thing became clear: whether this dinner was a feast for new alliances or a clumsy fumble into the political fray, only time—and perhaps the next big scandal—would tell. For now, it’s all smiles, glitz, and a dash of confusion served on a lavish plate.