In a stunning display of legislative prowess, the United States Senate has once again flexed its disapproval muscles, moving faster to reject proposals than a teenager dismissing their homework in favor of TikTok. With a collective determination that rivals a caffeine-fueled squirrel, the Senate’s latest session saw the swift thumbs-down to a whole buffet of policies, leaving citizens wondering if they’ve inadvertently tuned into a new reality TV show: “America's Got Disapproval!” The session began innocently enough, with a proposal for a national renewable energy initiative sailing into the chamber like a well-prepared soufflé. However, it was met with a collective snort of derision from senators who clearly had more pressing matters, like debating the proper angle at which to tilt their bow ties during photo ops. “Why support green energy when I can continue to fund the fossil fuels industry and watch my stock prices soar?” quipped Senator Grumbleton, who apparently had an environmentally friendly heart but preferred to keep it locked in a lead box labeled “Profits.” His colleagues nodded in unison, each secretly thrilled at the prospect of yet another buffet of disillusionment to feast upon. Equally entertaining was the Senate's rapid rejection of a proposal to expand education funding. “Education funding? Ha! That sounds suspiciously close to ‘supporting our future,’ and here we are focused on ‘supporting our reelection campaigns,’” said Senator Glibb, who was busy perfecting his latest Instagram filter that made him look like a concerned constituent. Outside the Capitol, confused citizens were left scratching their heads, wondering when the Senate might stop hitting “no” like it’s a game of digital whack-a-mole. Polling locations reported an increase in frustrated voters, many of whom began organizing poorly thought-out protests complete with handmade signs expressing their urge to “Make Legislation Great Again.” Meanwhile, one enterprising teenager started a GoFundMe to help cover the costs of printing more protest signs. Experts on the matter, who are likely still trying to figure out what an expert on Congress actually does, weighed in on this recent spree of disapproval. “When it comes to legislative productivity, the Senate has proven to be phenomenal at finding the ‘no’ button and hitting it repeatedly,” remarked Dr. Cassandra O’Reilly, an academic who once wrote a dissertation titled “The Art of Saying No: A Study of Senate Shenanigans.” Just when you thought the Senate couldn’t get any more adept at obstructing progress, it attempted to reject the notion of time itself. “We’re not just saying no to policies, we’re saying no to time! Why should we be constrained by deadlines when we can drag things out indefinitely?” exclaimed Senator Alwaylate, who was caught napping during the session, perhaps contemplating the infinite possibilities of vacillation. As the clock ticked on and more proposals met their untimely demise, one reporter attempted to question senators about their rapid-fire disapprovals. However, all attempts at journalistic inquiry were met with fervent laughter. “Please! We have more important matters to attend to—the latest plot twist in Congress should be hitting screens soon, and we have to prepare our responses!” they retorted, referencing a highly anticipated vote on the script for next week’s political drama. In the end, the Senate emerged victorious, basking in the glow of discontent from citizens who were once again left hanging like a bad cliffhanger. As a final act of comedic timing, the Senate decided to commence a two-month recess to reevaluate its commitment to doing absolutely nothing. As they departed, popcorn in hand, only one question lingered: when will the Senate learn that homework—and governance—actually matters? Until then, they remain champions in the art of disapproval, ready to turn another proposal into yesterday’s news faster than a teenager can declare an existential crisis over not being able to find their phone charger.