In a stunning display of commitment to scientific integrity, a group of US researchers has vowed to push forward in the battle against climate change, despite their government’s strikingly enthusiastic decision to take an extended vacation on environmental policy. With the administration reportedly off-grid somewhere with limited Wi-Fi—rumored to be sipping on piña coladas in an undisclosed tropical paradise—scientists have rolled up their sleeves, prepared their lab coats, and started shouting at thick clouds of carbon emissions with all the gusto of determined parent trying to wake a teenager. As funding dwindles faster than ice caps in a heatwave, these brave researchers have taken it upon themselves to conduct groundbreaking studies on hot topics, such as "How to Make Ice Cream with a Heat Gun" and "The Viability of Building Ark 2.0 on a Budget.” With grant money evaporating almost as quickly as the glaciers, they’ve resorted to unorthodox funding methods, including bake sales and GoFundMe campaigns titled “Save the Polar Bears: They Can’t Swim Forever.” “Every day I wake up and think, ‘What would a responsible adult do?’” said Dr. Sarah Green, lead researcher on “Project: Wait for the Next Admin.” “Then I remember we have scientists’ work to do. So I just drink my organic fair-trade coffee and carry on.” Meanwhile, in an apparent show of solidarity, many climate activists have taken to social media, posting pictures of themselves donning lab coats in defiance of climate denialism—because if there's anything more effective than actual policy change, it's Instagram filters and hashtags. #IceMeltingButSoAmI started trending almost immediately as influencers vied for attention while standing on the brink of the Grand Canyon. Every so often, the government throws a bone to the environmentally minded, like the recent announcement of a "new initiative" to plant trees in neighborhoods. The initiative comes with the caveat that the trees must be planted in areas where it’s not too inconvenient for the local authorities—like, say, not blocking a view of a McMansion from the golf course. Those who were looking for a more comprehensive climate action plan were advised to take a number, as that sector currently resembles a DMV line at the end of the world. To sprinkle a bit of good news, scientists have been observed brainstorming alternative methods for dealing with the climate crisis—ideas ranging from “hoping for rain” to "embracing the inevitable chaos." However, every silver lining has a cloud, and with a laughable lack of urgency from the administration, these researchers may just have to resort to more drastic measures. Already, whispers of biweekly “climate dance parties” are making the rounds, designed to raise awareness—and probably eyebrows—while informing attendees that every dance move and awkward shuffle contributes to their carbon footprint. In the meantime, all we can do is wait and wonder while the administration presumably attempts to reboot climate policy from poolside—presuming it can remember the password to the Wi-Fi. Who knew saving the planet would be so dependent on connecting to the internet?