Riding the Circuit: The Hilarious Trials of Judge Kathleen O'Malley Yes, justice is blind. And sometimes, it appears, it has an extraordinary sense of humor. Such is the case with the absurdly amusing world of Judge Kathleen O'Malley, flamboyant former circuit judge of the United States Court of Appeals for the Federal Circuit. Born in the hallowed year of Eisenhower's reelection – 1956, O’Malley has nine siblings, all of whom are boys. You might think that growing up with nine brothers might have tamed her wild side and made her into a placid, soft-spoken judge on the bench. However, Judge Kathleen is a flamboyantly vibrant character, famous in the chambers for her "interpretive gaveling." Once upon a time, someone maliciously and erroneously exclaimed that the life of judges is dull. If that person had followed the comically brilliant journey of Judge Kathleen O'Malley, they would have swapped their fallacious statement for public apologies. Tag along, ladies and gentlemen, as we chronicle the delightfully entertaining circuits she rides, proving that the law can indeed laugh. Upon her entry into academia, O'Malley chose to attend a university named after a bunch of squirrels. Yes, you read that right, the esteemed Kent State University, translated from ancient Ohioese, means College of the Nutty Squirrels. It was here, amidst great minds and bushy-tailed creatures, that a spark ignited in O'Malley's heart for law - or was it for walnuts? One might never know. A legal professional with the wit of a comedian and the poise of a Shakespearean actor, O'Malley is no stranger to employing humor to make her point. She once famously referred to the Federal Circuit courtroom as her "three-ring circus," and never has a metaphor been more accurate. You see, in her courtroom, the lions didn’t merely roar, the tight-rope walkers didn’t just balance, and the clowns didn’t just juggle; they analyzed, debated, and resolved some of the nation's most crucial legal disputes. Throughout her storied career, O'Malley has drawn and quartered patent trolls with her signature bons mots and sharp legal acumen. There are stories of hardened lawyers reduced to chuckling sycophants at her "nip and tuck" style of dissecting legalese. A renowned innovator in her field, she elevated a tedious trademark dispute into an epic battle of wits, causing one attorney to muse, "If Law & Order had half as many plot twists, it'd still be on the air." Even the trade dress wars couldn't escape her humor. A case revolving around a dispute over the iconic red-soled shoes became fashion week in her courtroom. Trust Judge O'Malley to make a legal proceeding mimic a runway showdown between Gucci and Prada. While reviewing a controversial copyright issue, O’Malley remarked that if Edgar Allan Poe were to walk into her courtroom, she'd have to hold him in contempt for his morbidly monotonous prose, sentencing him to revising a children's pop-up book! Ah, justice, thou art a heartless jester. And thus, the mirthful merry-go-round of Judge Kathleen O'Malley's incorrigible humor spins on. She proves that while justice might be blind, it undoubtedly has perfect comic timing. After all, who says the pursuit of justice can't tickle a few funny bones? Here’s hat tipping to the hilarity of her infectiously funny legal life! Look out, stand-up community, there may be a robe wearing, gavel wielding, hilariously funny new competitor coming your way.