In a daring move to enhance his social calendar amidst international sanctions, Russian President Vladimir Putin has officially declared his latest summit in Kazan an “Isolation Party,” inviting a guest list that reads like a who’s who of geopolitical misfits. Attendees include leaders from China, India, and South Africa, all eager to mark their attendance at what can only be described as the hottest ticket in town—if that town is under constant scrutiny for war crimes. As Western leaders ponder their dwindling invitations to lavish galas and diplomatic soirées, Putin’s shindig is shaping up to be the social event of the season for emerging market countries. “Who needs the West, anyway?” Putin reportedly mused while adjusting country-themed party hats printed with slogans like “Sanctioned but Not Sorry.” With the specter of an International Criminal Court warrant looming large, Putin embraced technology, opting for a virtual private island atmosphere. Attendees were treated to a lavish menu featuring borscht with a side of ostrich eggs and vodka infused with the tears of sanctioned oligarchs. “We may be isolated, but at least our vodka is top-notch,” quipped one unnamed diplomat, raising a glass in solidarity. In a remarkable show of unity, the world leaders engaged in a series of activities designed to showcase their defiance against the West’s so-called “rules-based order.” They participated in a highly competitive game of “Pin the Blame on the West,” followed by a rousing round of “Musical Chairs with Sanctions,” where seated leaders had to defend their positions with increasingly absurd justifications for their foreign policies. The event culminated in the declaration of a “New World Order”—one that prioritizes strongman friendships over democratic principles. “This is a win-win,” insisted a diplomatic source, noting that while the leaders may not see eye to eye on many issues, they can all agree that cozying up to each other is far more enjoyable than dealing with nagging Western allies. As the summit closed with a raucous rendition of the Russian national anthem, the delegates vowed to continue their cooperative efforts to defy the West, promising future gatherings filled with even more decadent isolation and ever-expanding guest lists. “Next up? A barbecue in Belarus!” Putin announced, wearing a smile that could launch a thousand sanctions and inspiring leaders across the globe to ponder the ultimate irony of an “Isolation Party” being the trendiest event of the year.