In a truly heartwarming display of old-fashioned capitalism, global PR giant, Edelman, once renowned for their commitment to climate change awareness, has decided to kindly turn its back on the environment and instead soak up some of the highly pollutant Koch Network’s dirty money. After previously committing to not taking on clients that denied climate change, Edelman demonstrated its firm belief that one should never let principles stand in the way of profit. Today, in a move that has left environmentalists and ethically-minded PR professionals gaping, the company leaped wholeheartedly into the waiting, oily arms of the Koch Network. The Koch Network, well known for its fondness of oil, coal, and other high-carbon energy sources, has often been accused by the chattering classes of being a leading protagonist in the climate change drama. Not that this reputation fart in the wind could sway Edelman, a company with a firm conviction that green is great - especially if it's in the form of banknotes. Indeed, the Koch Network could hardly contain its glee over this lucrative partnership. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, "Edelman's bold decision to promote our interests over the sustainability of the planet is deeply admired. It reaffirms that, in a world seemingly increasingly concerned with trivial matters like 'ensuring future generations have a planet to live on,' there are still companies willing to push back against such absurd notions." Edelman's leadership, demonstrating their ability to turn a blind eye to any minor ethical qualms, stated they are "excited to partner with Koch. After all, someone has to help justify all those oil spills, and we're just as good as anyone... maybe even better." Climate scientists around the world expressed their profound disappointment at this stunning about-face. However, their comments were drowned out by the gleeful clinking of champagne glasses at Edelman's headquarters and the rustling of crisp new bills making their way into the firm's coffers. Environmentalists have called for a boycott of Edelman, starting a “#EdelmanSellout” campaign on Twitter. It has yet to be seen whether this will impact Edelman's bottom line or merely serve as fuel for their next rollicking celebration. However, in the face of criticism, a spokesperson for Edelman said, "We still maintain a commitment to the environment. For example, we're promising to recycle all those crisp Koch Network dollars straight into our employees' wallets." Cynicism aside, Edelman’s action illustrates a troubling trend where the fight against climate change is secondary to the lure of big profits and corporate interests. But for now, a climate crisis can wait, because Edelman has bills to pay. Isn't capitalism great?