In a remarkable twist of fate that has left ghostly residents quite perturbed, Notre Dame Cathedral has officially reopened after its extensive facelift that began following the dramatic fire of 2019. While the stone walls gleam with newfound splendor and the ceilings soar with majesty, some say the real makeover belongs to the spirits of the past, who now find their ghostly abodes uncomfortably posh. French President Emmanuel Macron recently took a guided tour of the refurbished interiors, undoubtedly impressed with the new acoustics for his potential operatic performances. Meanwhile, reports have surfaced of spectral figures lingering a bit longer than usual, visibly shocked at the ornate changes and updated amenities. "First they take away our ancient stone arches," moaned one disgruntled apparition, who introduced himself as Claude, a previous resident since the 12th century. "Next thing you know, they’ll be adding Wi-Fi and air conditioning to our favorite nooks. Honestly, I can barely haunt in peace with all this change!" Indeed, the cathedral’s renovation included not only extraordinary craftsmanship but also by all appearances, a fair bit of tech-savviness. "Why are there USB ports in the walls?" asked another ghostly tenant, Marie, who has been floating around since the French Revolution. “I didn’t sign up for electrical upgrades. What’s next? Streaming services? Don't even get me started on the lack of a ghostly gathering spot—where's my spectral café?” To further stir the guffaws of the unearthly occupants, a local renovation blogger has documented the rise in Airbnb listings for ethereal experiences—emphasizing that guests might have to contend with the likes of Claude or Marie popping in for a polite haunt now and then. “Who wouldn’t want to wake up in a historical monument? Sure, you might have to share your space with some disgruntled ghost, but think of the stories!” said the blogger, fuelled by ghostly excitement. Meanwhile, traditionalists argue vehemently on social media about whether the timeline of renovations violated the spiritual essence of the cathedral. Ghost historians (yes, that’s a thing) have begun to draft petitions hoping to bring back some of the “flair of the old days”—such as unrenovated pews for haunting purposes and perhaps a few cobwebs for aesthetic nostalgia. As the public prepares for the grand reopening on December 8, the ghosts appear split on the matter. “I am deeply concerned that the influx of tourists will disrupt our resting places,” lamented Henri, a former bishop who has haunted Notre Dame since the 1500s. “But on the plus side, I hear the views from the new gargoyle installations are simply divine!” As excitement builds in the mortal realm, the reformed phantoms of Notre Dame prepare to hold a strategy session in one of the newly restored chapels. Their agenda? To reclaim the cathedral as not just a site of worship but as an eternal haunt, where even the spectral can enjoy a combination of tradition and modernity—perhaps with some complimentary ghostly lattes on the side.