In an astonishing display of late-game heroics, LeBron James proved once again why he should probably just skip the first three quarters of every game. The Los Angeles Lakers found themselves in the familiar position of needing a miracle against the Indiana Pacers, and what do you know? LeBron delivered a classic buzzer-beater, topping off an astounding performance where he didn't bother to score until the final minutes of the game. The Lakers, who had been valiantly attempting to perfect the art of losing for three games straight, stumbled into Indiana with only two goals: hope for a miracle and find out whether LeBron could actually make a shot. Spoiler alert: he could — but only when it really counted. His final stat line of 13 points, 13 rebounds, and seven assists suggests that LeBron might be actively auditioning to star in a new Marvel movie titled "The Man Who Is Boring for 47 Minutes." As the game wore on, it became evident that LeBron had a secret strategy: lull the opposing team into a false sense of security before swooping in like an underwhelming hawk. Trailing by three points with just five minutes left, one could only assume he was waiting for the perfect moment to stroke his beard and unleash an 11-2 run that would make even the most determined couch potato spill their nachos in surprise. Rui Hachimura contributed with a key three-pointer that was presumably meant to distract spectators from the fact that LeBron had been on the court for the first 40 minutes warming up his running shoes. The game's excitement peaked when the scoreboard flashed, "Game-Time Decision: Will He, Won’t He?" suspenseful in ways that made Netflix special events look like reruns of "Friends.” Finally, the moment arrived: LeBron surged towards the basket, tipped in the game-winning layup, and promptly schooled the natural laws of basketball physics by scoring the perfect amount of points in the only time frame that seemed to matter. In astoundingly predictable fashion, LeBron's late-game heroics resulted in a 120-119 victory, moving the Lakers to 44-28 while allowing fans to completely ignore the fact that basketball is a full 48-minute game and not just a four-minute advertisement for clutch shooting. In the post-game interview, a visibly relieved LeBron reiterated his usual mantra about teamwork and dedication but might have also slipped in an unverified quote from an ancient philosopher that roughly translated to, "Why bother with the first three quarters when you can just lollygag until it's time to shine?" As analysts predict the Lakers will carry this momentum into their next game, fans are left wondering: why can’t LeBron just save us all a few hours and start every match in the fourth quarter? At this rate, half-court shots during warm-ups could become the new standard!