In a stunning development that nobody really saw coming and everyone had already forgotten about ten minutes later, the House of Representatives has officially declared itself the "House of Drama," a bold move calculated to attract new viewers—and perhaps distract from actual governance. Sources inside the chamber report that members are now wandering the halls in dramatic capes and wielding theatrical props, proving that legislative dysfunction can indeed be served with a side of theatrics. "It’s about time we spiced things up a bit," said Representative Bart Lament, who insists he prefers the title "Theatrical Majority Leader." "Why debate policy when you can debate in Shakespearean soliloquies? We’re aiming for something that feels more like a soap opera!" Enthusiastic members have begun holding daily "auditions" during sessions, where legislation is debated as though auditioning for a Broadway show. Rumor has it that the pivotal vote on a new infrastructure bill was nearly derailed when a representative forgot his line and sputtered out, “To pave or not to pave, that is the question!” In line with their new branding, the House has also introduced a "Dysfunction Meter," a giant spinning wheel that members can spin to determine just how dysfunctional their sessions can get. “We had a record-high in dramatic flair last week when the meter hit 'Total Chaos' while debating healthcare reform," recounted Rep. Felicia Fumble, proudly. "People were throwing papers, shouting, and one member even fainted for dramatic effect!” Critics have pointed out that while the antics amuse the public, actual legislation is still getting less attention than a rerun of a reality show about competitive duck calling. In response, House Speaker Hilarity Hawkins held a press conference to clarify, “The people want entertainment! What’s more entertaining than watching grown adults argue over which one of them forgot to pay for lunch? You can’t put a price on that kind of comedy!” To maintain the excitement, the House is also considering live-streaming their sessions on platforms like TikTok. Viewers can vote in real-time on how a bill should proceed by using the hashtag #DysfunctionToTheMax. The most popular vote will dictate not just how legislation is structured but also what dramatic subplot will be intertwined with it. “Can you imagine voting on tax reform and then watching it turn into a love triangle? The possibilities are endless!” added Rep. Amour Weiss, who is spearheading the effort to integrate reality show-style romance into bill discussions. Not to be outdone, Senate Minority Leader Greg Abundant announced that his chamber will respond with a series called "The Real Senators of Capitol Hill," promising even more drama, outlandish plot twists, and impromptu song breaks. “We’ve got to keep up with the House,” he grinned, holding up a script that he claimed was ‘definitively not plagiarized’ from a popular reality series. “Expect major revelations, secret meetings in dimly lit rooms, and perhaps even a shocking congressional marriage between rival parties. It’s going to be epic!” As the lines between governance and entertainment blur ever further, voters are left scratching their heads. “I just wanted to understand health care options, but now I find myself invested in these characters' lives,” said anxious citizen and now self-proclaimed fan, Leslie Confused. “Is Rep. Fumble going to end up with Rep. Lament? And what’s the deal with the rival “Tax Brigade”? I need to know!” Meanwhile, onlookers can expect Congressional hearings to take a rather dramatic turn as members dive deep into their feelings, challenging one another with questions like, “But did you really make that decision based on what’s best for America, or were you just having a bad hair day?” While the House may be pivoting to align with the entertainment industry, one thing is for certain: it’s clear that in this era of “Democracy Meets Drama,” every legislative effort is just another episode in the saga of dysfunction. The real question remains—what will the audience vote on next?