In a bold and unprecedented move, the leaders of Greenland have officially declared independence from the global marketplace, waving a massive banner reading, "We Come with a No Sale Sign!" The announcement comes just after US President-elect Donald Trump once again floated the idea of "ownership and control" over the Arctic territory, sparking a flurry of baffled reactions and memes across social media. Greenland’s Prime Minister, Múte Ege, speaking at a press conference set against a backdrop of Northern Lights and tunic-clad polar bears, proclaimed, "Greenland is ours! We are not for sale! Not even for $100 billion, a lifetime supply of hot dogs, or a signed copy of Trump’s latest bestseller.” A source close to Prime Minister Ege pointed out that “the only sale happening here is an unbelievable clearance catalog featuring 10 cars and no taxes.” In a show of defiance, Greenlandic officials unveiled their new national slogan: "Keep Your Offers," complete with snazzy merchandise ranging from t-shirts to mugs adorned with the famous open palm “you-can’t-have-it” gesture. Locals are reportedly thrilled to be able to support their economy without worrying about international real estate transactions. One resident remarked, “We used to worry about tourists trying to buy our igloos, now we can pop popcorn and watch the world try to place bids!” Experts theorize that Trump's ongoing fascination with the island stems from an overzealous interest in Arctic real estate, possibly fueled by a desire to one day host the ultimate winter golf tournament. However, Greenland refuses to be a pawn in anyone's game, and insiders reveal that they have hired the famous firm “Cold Shoulders, LLP” to ensure any further inquiries are met with a frosty reception. In response to Trump’s comments, Greenlandic residents collectively held a “No Sale” parade, featuring floats made of recycled icebergs and signboards emblazoned with phrases like "Not for Sale, Not Even for Trade!" and "We Prefer Our Fish Fresh, Not Negotiated." Local wildlife, including reindeer and penguins (who have claimed polar bears as honorary guests), joined in the festivities, showing their support by gathering en masse, possibly to celebrate or simply to ask when dinner would be served. Market analysts express skepticism, questioning how long this “No Sale” policy can be maintained without navigating the complexities of global capitalism and, of course, the lucrative Greenland shark fishing industry. Meanwhile, local entrepreneurs have taken the opportunity to launch a new safari tour called “Not Your Property,” allowing participants to experience the wondrous beauty of Greenland while insisting that they are absolutely not buying anything. As the world watches with bated breath, one question lingers: can a nation really declare itself “not for sale” in a world where everything has a price? One thing is for certain—Greenland is ready to make a statement. And that statement involves a very large sign that no bidder will ever forget.