In a plot twist that could rival the worst soap operas, electric vehicle (EV) sales are plummeting faster than the stock price of a failed tech startup. As consumers grapple with the harsh reality of sticker shock, range anxiety, and charging station availability that rival the search for Bigfoot, car manufacturers are left biting their nails and hoping for a miracle—or at least a slightly more affordable battery. Welcome to the latest episode of "EV or Not EV," a frantic game show where participants ponder the weighty question: "Do I really need a car that runs on unicorn tears?” As the industry celebrates its latest “low emissions” campaign, prospective buyers are starting to think that maybe they can just walk the 50 miles to the grocery store instead of shelling out for that Tesla with all the extra bells and whistles. Once upon a time, it was all rainbows and renewable energy. Industry insiders were promising a future where EVs would reign supreme, leaving the gas guzzlers choking on their own fumes. Now the EV market resembles a teenage romance: full of promise and high hopes, but ultimately going nowhere fast. For the hopeful manufacturers, the issue isn't just demand; it's the sinking realization that batteries are more expensive than a college education in ancient philosophy. With the cost of lithium climbing higher than a cat stuck in a tree, manufacturers are praying for a breakthrough—any kind of breakthrough, really. Perhaps an affordable battery made from recycled water bottles? Or a compact solution where hamsters run on tiny exercise wheels? Meanwhile, those hipster charging stations that once lit up with excitement are now dimming, resembling more of an avant-garde lighting installation than a viable solution. Drivers are left playing Russian roulette as they venture out, rationing their mileage like it’s the last slice of pizza at a party. “Will I make it to the charger, or will I run out of juice in the middle of nowhere? Is that a charging station or a mirage?” Then there’s the ongoing saga of range anxiety, which has now morphed into a full-blown existential crisis. Consumer advocates suggest buying an EV is very much like dating—if you’re looking for a long-term relationship, prepare for some awkward conversations about commitment issues and elaborate plans to avoid the dreaded “what are we?” (in this case, “how far can I go?”). Innovators are working on sleek commercials portraying the blissful, windblown life of the electric car owner, with picturesque mountains and shimmering sunsets. But behind the glossy images, there’s a teeny tiny asterisk: “Results may vary." Indeed, for many drivers, the dream of fresh air and quiet rides is turning into the nightmare of tow trucks and frantic text messages to friends: “Stuck, again.” As EV sales slump to levels last seen during the Great Depression, experts remain baffled. “Maybe we didn’t think this through,” one executive muses, looking as bewildered as a toddler staring at a plate of vegetables. “What if people actually want to go places without anxiety and debt?” Shocking, isn’t it? For now, the industry holds its breath, waiting for a spark of inspiration amid the dimming glow of their beloved battery boards. As the aisle of charging stations grows ever more desolate, car companies convene for emergency meetings, sipping overpriced lattes and brainstorming ways to turn their ship around—because nothing says strong sales like attaching a new “eco-friendly” label to an even more expensive vehicle. And in the meantime, for those still holding onto hope, fret not! As the massive EV wave crashes headfirst into reality, remember: there’s always that old reliable friend that everyone loves to call—public transportation. A safe bet for those not interested in their personal tank of renewable dreams going up in smoke.