In an official Twitter-turned-X blog post issued Wednesday, the innovative tech company helmed by billionaire and occasional Martian aspirant, Elon Musk, announced its solution to prevent dubious activity on its platform: charge $1 a year to prove you're not a robot. The pioneering scheme, cheekily baptized "Not a Bot,” is expected to be rolled out like a red carpet for potential spammers in New Zealand and the Philippines. The startling news that users will be charged for not being robotic has upset folks worldwide, raising the question - is there anything Musk won't commoditize? "We've taken into account the criticisms of ordinary people who are inconvenienced by spam, scams, and bots clumsily pretending to be real life sentient beings on our platform," said an X spokesperson. "We figured since people pay for wifi to suffer online harassment and endless scrolling, why not charge them to confirm they're not a bot?" The folks in New Zealand and the Philippines are being handpicked to test this revolutionary theory. However, X reassures terrified netizens across the planet that this trial will not affect existing users, leaving them free to continue being cyberbullied by both humans and bots. While the backlash against X's brainstorm has been fast and fierce, Musk fans have expressed their support, saying things like, "Elon charges me for sunlight and I'll still walk around with a torchlight.” Despite the international uproar, X is holding steady, insisting this $1 fee is their hail mary to minimize the blatant manipulation flooding their platform. After all, who but a bot would grip onto that dollar despite the global love for online authenticity? It is unclear how X expects to confirm payments are actually made by humans and not bots that have developed an understanding of human economics. Some skeptics speculate it could be the first step in a grand strategy where bots start paying for themselves, leading eventually to a Universal Basic Income for bots. Undeterred by criticism, Musk's X continues towards its ultimate goal of bot-proofing this platform. Whether this will be a success or another notch in the misadventures of tech moguls remains to be seen. Until then, if you’re itching to pay a dollar for your humanity, consider moving to New Zealand or the Philippines. Your chance to shine is nigh.