In a shocking twist of social media antics, former FBI Director James Comey has found himself at the center of a dietary debacle that could only be rivaled by a reality TV showdown. A cryptic post featuring the number "8647" has left the internet buzzing, with Trump supporters interpreting it as an ominous threat, while others wonder if the former director is just hungry for pizza. Comey, who mysteriously vanished from the Twitterverse after his post, stated he was completely unaware that his choice of numbers might suggest a veiled plot against the former president. "Honestly, I just wanted to promote my new diet plan," Comey declared in an exclusive interview with his reflection, "It’s called 'The 86 Diet' – you throw out all unhealthy food and order takeout instead!" The enigmatic number "8647" sent conspiracy theorists into a frenzy. Some speculated it was a covert code depicting the number of days left until the next reality show re-election, while others claimed it was a new hip hop collective: “8-6-4-7 and the Funky Bunch.” Meanwhile, social media influencers have begun to monetize the situation, selling “Comey’s Takeout Box” merchandise—complete with a t-shirt that reads “Eat, 86, Repeat.” Experts have weighed in, noting that while “86” can mean to throw someone out—or in this case, perhaps to throw a pizza in the oven—Comey’s later decision to remove the post raises further questions. “Did he suddenly realize he misused a food lexicon? Or is this an elaborate attempt to get an invitation to a Republican barbecue?” pondered a bemused political analyst while munching on a slice of deep-dish. Trump’s camp, however, was quick to respond to these culinary escapades. A spokesperson released a statement reading, “We will NOT be intimidated by numbers, cryptic or otherwise. But if Comey is offering takeout, we’d take a Dumperoni pizza any day!” In a rare moment of political camaraderie, community members have since created a Facebook group, “Comey’s Takeout Crisis,” that invites people to share their most outrageous interpretations of the number post, with one entry suggesting it refers to an upcoming jamboree for 8647 chickens crossing the road to help deliver Comey’s mysterious message—whatever that might be. As the once-simple number remains shrouded in controversy, one thing is clear: the only thing getting thrown out is the notion that Comey is ready to throw Trump out—unless it’s with a side of garlic bread. Stay tuned for updates as this culinary caper continues to unfold, potentially culminating in a bipartisan takeout night that may just bridge the political divide—one slice at a time.