In a stunning twist of festive fate, the Premier League's penultimate pre-Christmas clash turned into a metaphorical snowball fight, with Manchester City's title aspirations taking a dive faster than a poorly executed holiday dive into a pool of eggnog. In a masterclass of underachievement, City fell to Aston Villa, who apparently found an extra helping of Christmas spirit and served up a 2-1 defeat, leaving their fans wondering if presents were being unwrapped after all—or if it was just Santa’s sleigh turning back to the North Pole in disgust. Meanwhile, Nottingham Forest decided that their gift for the season would be Brentford's first home loss, deftly delivering a 2-0 package that left Brentford's fans searching under their seats for a miracle. Rumors are swirling that Brentford may have mistakenly thought they were an unwrapped gift instead of a serious contender; as they prepared to celebrate with balloons, they were met with a resounding "not this time!" from the Forest players. Up north, Newcastle's Alexander Isak seemed to have mistaken the pitch for Santa's workshop, scoring a hat-trick while Ipswich players looked on, possibly contemplating their life choices instead of the game unfolding in front of them. The final score was so one-sided at 4-0 that even the Newcastle fans felt compelled to look away—too much joy can be overwhelming, after all! In the heart of London, West Ham and Brighton were too caught up in their own holiday spirit to bother with the full three points, ending in a 1-1 draw that can only be described as the football equivalent of fruitcake: no one's really sure how it got made, but it just keeps coming back every year. As for Arsenal, they brought the house down in a soirée against Crystal Palace, trouncing their foes 5-0, making the London venue sound like a festive concert featuring sleigh bells and the sound of cheers—if only Crystal Palace had brought some earplugs. Arsenal treated the game like a festive reunion, inviting everyone to join in their holiday cheer while leaving their London rivals out in the cold, contemplating where they went wrong, as Santa checked his list twice. In today’s pre-Christmas extravaganza, if anyone was wondering whether the Premier League teams wanted to be on the naughty or nice list, the answer is now obvious: everyone wants a spot on the nice list, but judging by their performances, a few have surely earned a lump of coal instead. As football continues its winter wonderland madness, fans can only hope for better presents—like actual victories—under their metaphorical Christmas trees come the new year.